It was a strange moment to suffer my first experience of racial abuse. When I walked through the centre of Oxford last month on the eve of a fortnight of seminars organised by the Prince’s Trust to encourage better social mobility among young British Muslims, a crowd of drunken locals jeered and shouted, “You f****** suicide bomber.”

As a 25-year-old second generation British Muslim of Pakistani descent, I am no stranger to the hostility between the Muslim community and the wider British public. My encounter in town was a timely reminder of the need to create a better understanding between these two increasingly polarised groups.

I had arrived at Oxford earlier that afternoon, one of 24 Muslim “future leaders” selected to learn more about Britain from people working in the top echelons of government, media, charitable organisations and the royal household. We were being given the chance to network with other British Muslims and gain a better understanding of the dynamics of our society.

I was unsure what to expect but pleasantly surprised to find the trust had chosen a cross-section of Muslims. There was a mixture of men and women, whose families had come from different parts of the Middle East, Turkey and Pakistan; we were a group of young adults, aged between 21 and 30, with jobs ranging from working in a bank or in media to doing public sector work. We ranged from liberal-minded to more conservative and observant Muslims.

The Prince’s Trust had spent a year organising this programme. I had been recommended by my local MP and cabinet minister, Stephen Timms. I am a researcher, working on television documentaries, but had worked with the main political parties to address the problems within the Muslim community in and around my home area of East Ham in London.

Prince Charles has correctly identified the need to engage young Muslims. Earlier this month 19-year-old Hammasa Kohistani, the first Muslim to be crowned Miss England, said that Tony Blair was responsible for stereotyping the Islamic community as potential suicide bombers. She hit the nail on the head. We feel we are being pilloried by the very institutions that should involve us. Muslim talent is not being tapped and we have much to offer, having a respect for education and hard work.

But Oxford showed how tricky it is to get the Muslim community involved in a debate. Mingling in large groups, especially those including women, is not something many Muslim communities encourage. Some thought our programme too secular: the more religious participants, who quickly organised a parallel programme of regular prayers, Islamic advice and theological discussions. All this was conducted in good spirit, but we need to be able to talk to each other if we are to be able to talk to the outside world.

Everyone had different views on what role Islam played in their daily lives, but we were united by the belief that more had to be done to enable Muslims to participate further in British society. Muslim under-participation is the root cause of Islamaphobia.

A series of lectures engendered fierce discussion. Under the glare of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a former ambassador talked on British foreign policy and disarmed our attacks on him by declaring that he was against the Iraq war. An Oxford MP who expressed obtuse views on issues such as the hijab ban in France and the Danish cartoons got a bit of a mauling but we were ultimately impressed by his stamina and passion. He eventually received a large round of applause.

We rounded off our course with a trip to Buckingham Palace, where we met members of the Queen’s and Prince Charles’s household. They explained that only two Muslim members of staff were employed at Buckingham Palace and they tried to encourage members of our group to consider working there. I’m not sure how many inquiries they will receive but we appreciated the gesture.

As we packed our bags in Oxford it was striking that everyone had become more open, and we left feeling far more positive than when we arrived. The image of a stream of disaffected young Muslims wanting to reap destruction on our way of life has taken hold of the British public’s subconscious. We want to prove that British Muslims are a worthy part of this country’s future.

Muddassar Ahmed was speaking to Peter Hall