Sometimes I think that Tony Blair is just toying with us, like a cat who sheathes his claws while playing with a half-dead mouse.

Mr Blair knows that he is going (well, in theory he does) and he knows that we know. But he will not — absolutely not — acknowledge this. He may or may not be in denial but he was certainly in Comical Ali territory at yesterday’s press conference.

There were a series of questions about his future and the first one was whether it was his intention to quit as MP for Sedgefield at the same time as he leaves Downing Street.

Mr Blair hated this. For him, the personal is not political and that is official. Mr Blair likes to theme his press conferences and yesterday his goal was to tell us the “untold story” of how Labour had reduced poverty. To this end, he gave a Power-Point presentation with utterly baffling graphs.

It is through visual effects like these that untold stories stay untold. Ten years in power and, still, the graphs are absolutely ridiculous.

I think it is a matter of personal sorrow for Mr Blair that the main untold story we are interested in is his own. Yesterday, he fixed us with his gimlet glare. “It is a privilege to represent the people of Sedgefield,” he said. “I have made absolutely no decisions about my future at all.”

At all? Can this be true? Well, if Comical Tony says so, then it must be. After all, he must occasionally find time to talk to himself. Such statements must irritate the Treasury. I do hope Gordon Brown is not gnashing his new whiter-than-white teeth.

Mr Brown is looming larger and larger at these events. At times, I try to imagine his burly form behind the lectern of fake mahogany with the gold lettering that says: www.pm. gov.uk. It is really quite hard to do.

The closer the great day comes, the more circumspect Mr Blair gets about Mr Brown. When asked yesterday if it was right for the Chancellor to speak out on such subjects as Britishness, Mr Blair said stiffly: “We don’t just operate in silos. I think it is perfectly reasonable.” (Yes, I wondered, but is it reasonable to talk about operating in silos? I feel another baffling graph coming on.)

But, another questioner persisted, the polls were terrible. Shouldn’t Mr Blair go? “I have to say that the most important thing is to take the right decisions for the country and there will be ample, AMPLE, time for my successor to do whatever they think is right. I think it would be bizarre to get worried about the mid-term polls.”

Would it? Isn’t that what politicians do? Perhaps Comical Tony is beyond that now. But, he was asked, what about Scotland? There an election loomed very soon. Would his presence there be a plus? “Some people like me. Some people don’t like me. That is just the way it is after ten years,” he said abruptly.

Then came the man from Fox News with a magnificent accent that was pure 100 per cent American.

“I must ask you,” Mr Fox boomed, as if he were shouting into a wind tunnel during a hurricane. “I read last night that you are considering a New York temporary residence after No 10?”

Mr Blair looked alarmed. ““I’m afraid that I haven’t come across that one!” he cried. “New York is a great city!” He then laughed and added: “So is Paris!”

Actually I think this Comical Tony persona may catch on. It is so obvious he hasn’t thought about the future, at all.

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