There is no doubt that Ian McCartney, the tiny but tempestuous Foreign Office Minister, is incandescent about what is happening in Zimbabwe. In the Commons yesterday, he was bubbling with fury. It was a ferocious attack and if words alone could change the world, then these would end the misery of Mugabe now.

Mr McCartney, as a Minister, is a welcome surprise. Finally, someone speaks from the Labour front bench who really does seem to care about human rights. “I offer my solidarity, on behalf of this House, to all Zimbabweans,” he cried. “Mugabe’s men might break the bones of the democracy campaigners but they cannot break the quiet dignity of these extraordinary human beings. One day Zimbabwe will return to democracy. Zimbabwe will be free!”

It was stirring stuff but I am only able to give that quote because Mr McCartney provided us with the text of his speech. Without it, I was in trouble and I was not alone. It is no coincidence that Mr McCartney is friends with John Prescott. I have got used to Mr McCartney’s thick Glaswegian accent and usually I can just surf along with it. But yesterday, as he delivered one horrible fact after another (average life expectancy for a Zimbabwean woman is 34), his delivery just got faster and faster. The words streamed into one another until “multilateral” sounded like “motoroda”. By the end, words all joined together, making supercalifragilistic look succinct. I felt as if I was on a runaway train, clinging to the sides, hanging on for dear life.

It was an outpouring of frustration and it was easy to see why. Mr McCartney announced no new sanctions, though he did say he was considering extending the travel ban to regime members’ children. Otherwise, his strategy is to try to get South Africa and others to confront their monster neighbour.

Expert View

In the deteriorating situation, none of the options is good. It is still possible, many acknowledge, that Mugabe might cling on

Beronwen Maddox

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BACKGROUND

• Mugabe: the final showdown looms

• Zimbabwe's victims reveal their suffering

• Mugabe faces revolt from police and Church

• Paramilitaries answer Mugabe's call

There were few Labour MPs there to hear it, which was surprising, but then these are strange and becalmed times for the party of supposed renewal. The Tories were present in considerable numbers, and some of them were restive. As Mr McCartney sat down, one Tory shouted: “So what are you going to do about it?”

Iain Duncan Smith, the former Tory leader who served with the British Army in Zimbabwe, was clearly unhappy. “I think we have dragged our heels on this unnecessarily over the years,” he said. He added that Britain should tell South Africa and other neighbours that the time had come to put real pressure on Zimbabwe. “If they don’t, then maybe we should look again at some of those aid programmes that are going in their direction.”

Mr McCartney took him on. “Can I say I disagree entirely with his last remark. We are not going to take action against the ordinary citizens of any country in Africa simply to get at Mugabe’s regime. That’s playing entirely into his hands!”

The final confirmation of our inability to do anything came in a short question from the Tory, James Duddridge. “Can you confirm whether or not Robert Mugabe’s daughter, Bona Mugabe, is currently studying at the London School of Economics and, if so, who’s paying?”

Mr McCartney confirmed that she was, but later he recanted. But, in any case, I think we know who’s paying for the chaos in Zimbabwe.

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