Ann Treneman: Parliamentary Sketch
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It was the one million pound moment. Chris Tarrant will be jealous. The crowd at the Winter Gardens, packed in like sardines in the most uncomfortable seats ever, were taken completely by surprise. They knew George Osborne was going to say something about the threshold for inheritance tax but, as they struggled with their legroom, they had no expectations.
So when George Osborn said “one million”, the words seemed almost shocking. A “whoosh” went straight through the hall like a fireball and the applause really was tumultuous. “Yeah!” shouted the man behind me, as if at a football match.
Even George Osborne looked shocked. He stood, stunned, having a myxomatosis moment as the wave hit him. Then his lips parted in something close to a smile. This does not come naturally to Mr Osborne, for he is one of life’s sneerers. But not yesterday. Instead, he looked like a man who had just walked into his own surprise birthday party and discovered that he had friends after all.
The Tory party will never love George Osborne, I suspect, for he always seems to have just come over from the dark side. But they loved this speech. For years they have wanted to hear the words “tax cuts” from their new Conservative leaders and finally, after all the pain, they’ve got the gain. There is a sign outside the Winter Gardens ballroom that says “No body surfing”. It seemed a ludicrous admonition until the million-pound moment.
It was billed as the “Aspiration” speech. This is the political word du jour. Why? It is so fuzzy that it needs an eye test. But I guess Ambition sounds like it’s wearing Eighties shoulder pads while Inspiration just sounds desperate. So Aspiration it is.
Mr Osborne got off to a rather shaky start. “The British people want change,” he announced. “And they want to know if we are that change.” That change? I had a vision of a bunch of coins. “This week let us send the resounding answer. Yes, we are ready. Yes, we are the change!” Jingle, jingo, jingle bells. Surely only Americans say these sort of things.
He bashed Gordon Brown with a relentless fury that comes from facing him in the Commons for so long. “Isn’t it ironic that his latest book is called Courage?” he taunted. “Courage, by Gordon Brown. Next week we’ll have Charisma, by Alistair Darling.” This got a laugh but, of course, it’s much more likely to be Aspiration by Alistair Darling.
George Osborne seems older these days. That is good news for him, since he suffers from looking 12. If anyone ever needed jowls, he does. But yesterday he looked his age (36) at least. Also, he has almost stopped squeaking. It is hard to be taken seriously when you sound like a mouse. I am not sure that the audience would have cared much yesterday if he had squeaked for, at last, he was squeaking in their language.
“I’ve heard it suggested that in my first Budget I am going to tax people who go to the supermarket. What do you think I am? Off my trolley?” The sardines, battered from the last few years of relentless change in their party, laughed with relief.
When he finished, the audience jumped up with real enthusiasm (though some of that may have been an attempt to avoid DVT). David Cameron joined him on stage. “OK?” asked George as Dave clapped. Dave told him to wave and, hesitantly, George raised his hand and waved at his new friends.
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George Osborne : a Chancellor in the making !
Jo Sullivan, Liverpool, Merseyside