Ann Treneman: Parliamentary Sketch
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We rarely see the British bulldog at Westminster these days. Indeed, I have not seen the old boy for so long that I had feared that he had gone to the great kennel in the sky. But I need not have worried. For, yesterday, there he was, right in the middle of the chamber, teeth bared, ears pricked, hackles up.
He’d come out to take on an increasingly belligerent Russian bear. The first to growl yesterday was the Foreign Secretary. There was some surprise at this. He does not seem much of the bulldog type (for he is much more of a labrador) plus he is still, really, only a puppy. Mr Miliband will only have youthful memories of the frostbite and fear of the Cold War. He was just 24 when the Wall came tumbling down. But that didn’t matter yesterday, for Mr Miliband was impressively fierce.
“The whole House will share our anger and dismay at the actions of the Russian Government,” he intoned. “We saw similar actions during the Cold War but thought they had been put behind us.”
He was speaking of the harassment of the British Council offices in Russia. Lord Kinnock was in the gallery, leaning forward, hands on the rail, eyes riveted downwards. He was there professionally (he is chairman of the council’s board of trustees), but also as a father. His son, Stephen, director of the St Petersburg office, was one of those arrested and held. How he must have been dying to speak. (Later, in the Lords, he was scathing, saying that “Orwell appears to be meeting Gogol”.)
For the moment, though, the bulldog is only growling. Mr Miliband talked tough, but did not bite. For now, the Foreign Secretary is avoiding a tit-for-tat culture battle and the House was united behind him. Denis MacShane, the former minister, led the backbench snarlers: “We have to stand up to this bullying by the bear.”
The Foreign Secretary was urged not to get mad, but to get even. Why not go to court to prove the British Council was not illegal? “Let’s prove it’s legal and embarrass them further,” urged one MP.
“We are in a Catch22,” explained Mr Miliband, “because although the Russian authorities keep on denouncing the illegal activities of the British Council, they never say what those illegal activities are. Proving that you are not doing something illegal is very difficult if you aren’t being charged.”
But the atmosphere in the chamber owed more to le Carré than Orwell, Gogol or Heller. “Doesn’t this demonstrate to a very large extent the days of the KGB seem to be coming back,” said David Winnick, the maverick MP. “Wouldn’t it be wise of the Russian authorities to bear in mind that, having lost one Cold War, they are very unlikely to win another?”
Chris Bryant, the excitable Labour MP, is a yapper more than a growler. He is also a terrible show-off and noted that our cultural ties with Russia date back to the 17th century, when Peter the Great made his first state visit.
Other MPs started to rumble, but then Mr Bryant began to yap in earnest: “But I hope the Foreign Secretary is making extremely clear that here is a very strong sense of anger at the despicable actions that have gone on over the last few days.”
Mr Miliband agreed with a really rather impressive “Grrrrrrrr”. I know it’s winter anyway but there is a new chill in the air.
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