In reply to R.Dewar. Their children are probably out at work struggling to pay mortgages and rapidly increasing fuel bills, or like my children, who have had to move to find work and a house they can afford. I dread my arthritis getting worse and becoming a burden on my family. If one of my daughters had to give up work to care for me, they would not be able to afford their mortgages, and would become homeless. I rent my cottage, so obviously I can't sell it to pay for care. I wouldn't be able to cope in an OAP Home anyway. My mother was in a good nursing home, but it took £73,000 of her savings, leaving just £16,000 to divide between her 3 children after her death. She had dementia, and was dangerous.We tried to get her sectioned after she tried to kill my father. Instead she was put in a dementia home and had to pay for her medical and non medical care. I lived too far away, and had a disabled husband to care for.
I would rather end it all than go into some of the nursing homes.

Beryl, Windsor, England

What else can one expect from a society that glorifies youth, beauty and boundless materialism and prefers fleeting cheap emotionalism to genuine feelings of empathy?

Ray Massart, Hombeek, Belgium

Getting rid of at least one layer of bureaucracy would significantly help money get to the end recipient. Ever increasing layers of management, target achieving and assessment staff seem to have been added to all public services......... With the obvious results!

Mags, Wantage, Oxon

My 93 year old single friend has been active and outgoing and supporting others up until these last months. After a lifetime of looking out for others, she now needs care for herself. Where is that help when she needs it? Thanks to the persistence of her good neighbour friends, meals were eventually arranged for her - they were dropped off with no regard to the fact that without anyone with her she was not eating any of them. She was to get help with dressing and bathing 'as a matter of urgency' - she is still waiting. How can we support her to stay at home for what is undoubtedly the final stage of her long and active life with so little support? And she is lucky - because she is an extraordinary woman and has made and kept neighbour friends and distant relatives, she is at least as supported as she can be - given that all those who are still fit and able are working full time - but this is not enough. It is tragic and distressing that it is going to be too little too late.

Catherine , Leeds,

R Dewar, As it happens I am looking after an elderly parent. There are many people in this country doing the same. I've read a lot of carer's forums to see how others fare in similar circumstances. When an elderly parent becomes unable to take care of themselves it is often sudden and unexpected (e.g. a stroke or dementia - which can come in little hints to start with and then suddenly take a huge leap). For the child who decides to care for the parent, it often means giving up a career, gaining support from their partner, and any children they may have. For some, a disagreement on this has destoryed their marriage. For some, living on the Carer's Allowance of £48.00 per week has resulted in homelessness for them and for the parent they sought to care for. I'm lucky. I can just about manage to do it with my partner's support. For some it is just not possible. Of course some will shove granny off to a home in the blink of an eye, but not all.

Linda, Poole,

Saying that families should have sole responsibility for the care of elderly or Disabled people allows the government to abdicate its responsibility to those of us who need such care. Nearly a quarter of my benefits go towards paying for what I used to get for free - which was changed almost overnight, without any financial reassessment of my ability to pay. I'd happily pay if I was working, but I can't even get a job because of Discrimination. And no, I won't fall into the trap - I refuse to blame immigrants.

Chris Page, Letchworth Garden City, UK

I agree with Mr Dewar, it is time we stop expecting the governent to spoon feed us, what about our responsibilty as a child to look after your parents. I visited an old people's home recently, many of the residents are visited by their own children twice a year , christmas and easter, the same children who benefited from the sacrifices their parents made for them. We claim we can't afford to look after our own parents , yet have plenty of money for holidays, sky tv and the latest computer gadgets, other cultures have far less than us, yet treat their elderly with dignity and respect, it is the selfish indiviudalism at the core of our society that is leading to so much suffering ifor the elderly.,

uche george, London, England

One way to make sure the elderly and disabled get appropriate care is not to go crying to uncarring councis but to instigate programs to get the families of these people and the elderly and disabled out to vote. If counselors know they are dealing with people who have and use their votes they will change their tune in short order.

Shirley Hodge, Glasgow, E. Renfrewshire

It is wrong to exclude and abandon the most vulnerable elements of our society from social care in order to impress a bunch of foreigners, The elderly and the disabled have a hard enough time trying to live as it is without the strata of Social service and support services that they so badly need.
I have always advocated the necessity for reform in the areas of social support systems for the elderly and those disabled individuals who cannot work and need support in order live. The Scottish parliament under labour produced a document of 156 'suggestions' to help the elderly and disabled community despite it's obviously being a rehashing of tired outdated old ideas, that never worked in the first place. Living on Benefits for life is no compensation for not having a decent ordinary life. not being able to improve your home/garden or even have a wee holiday. When are we going to offer them real help, and when are we going to treat the elderly and unemployed disabled as human beings?.

William Wilson, Bathgate Area, Scotland

Cancel the British olympics, let Athens have it because they're already prepared for it, and use the millions to support carers to contiune caring and to pump money into residential and nursing homes.

Sarah, Scarborough,

We can spend the money on caring for pregnant foeigners but not on the English elderly. That is just wrong. Pregnancy is not an illness - it is a lifestyle choice - so should not be paid for from central funds unless the baby is at risk.

Chris, Ashford, Middlesex,

How many elderly will live in misery and pain to pay for the olympics? One would be far too many.

Chris, Ashford, Middlesex,

Our Conservative led council has recently changed the criteria in which they provide care for the elderly and the disabled unilaterally. This is because they are no centralised rules as to the level of care a person should expect.

The vast majority of decisions are taken by councillors to keep the Council Tax low and therefore themselves in the council. What should happen is a person can only sit on the council for two terms. We have councillors who have sat on the council for tens of years and regard it as a second income. They are not concerned for the care of the individual. If they are bedridden or housebound they are not going to vote anyway.

There needs to be a fundemental shake up of how our local authorities are run to bring them into the 21st century. Instead of the 19th century as they currently are. A country with an economy in the top ten should be able to look after those who can't look after themselves. What do they do with the money they get? Love to know

Christopher Linthwaite, Beverley, East Yorkshire

It seems that there is plenty of money, billions of pounds in fact, readily and instantly available when it comes to invading Third World countries, but absolutely nothing when it comes to looking after the elderly at home. Time Parliament actually represented the people of this country, and not its own interests and the Arms Industry.

Neil, Gloucestershire, England

In a separate article in the press this morning I read of billions of pounds wasted by this government on PFI contracts and consultants. This is why there is no money to pay for the genuine needs of these elderly people whose tax contributions have been squandered. I would like to see some of these highly paid civil servants and ministers who are responsible for the waste being compelled to do regular voluntary work with old people until they get their priorities straight. As for R. Dewar who asks about families. Many families do struggle on caring for older relatives whilst trying to earn enough for their own old age. Surely it would be a better use of public funds to support these people rather than spend money on IT systems which do not work or unnecessary management consultants?

sheila, LEICESTER,

The government, both national and local, should reflect on the fact that a society, any society, operates on the basis of an unwritten social contract between that government and society at large.
When society perceives that the social contract is not being adhered to by the government, the social contract becomes worthless.
At that point society will begin to ignore it too. Non-totalitarian governments only rule society by consent.
One wonders if this might explain the worrying drift of the current government toward increasingly totalitarian measures?

Chris, St Leonards, UK

My mother has been in and out of 5 hospitals in the last 6 weeks, only in one has she received compassion and respect. Some hospitals are only staffed by bank nurses, who are only there for the money and are rude and have large chips on their shoulders. Now out of hospital she is left to fend for herself without care. It is impossible to find out where to go for any help, usefull or not. I live 70 miles away and have been spending £100 a week on petrol. This lady of 82 has put her life on the line many many times for this country - she worked in an ammunition factory during WW11 in High Wycombe and was bombed out of her family house in Mile End London. This Government does not care for the old - it's wasted money as far as they are concerned. We need to stand up to these politicians and get OUR money spent on the old and infirm at the same time thanking them for the good job they have done for US.

John Fareham

John Ellis, Fareham, UK

Disgraceful, how is it that our own are neglected yet immigrants can claim child benefit to send oversees because they don't have their kid's with them. If we don't have our children living with us we don't get child benefit. Is'nt it about time our own people came first, especially those in obvious need such as the old and infirm. No doubt the elderly have children but they are probably working 24/7 to exist. Their burden of taxes should go to their own instead of others. We should all opt out of paying taxes and pay for the services as and when we need them, then maybe this surge of immigration would stop if they can't exploit our system.

lyn, cromer, uk

Amazing how the Government can find funds to invade other countries, but not enough to look after the elderly in their own homes.

margie, victoria, australia

To R Dewar, the welfare state has been paid for by the taxes of the people who now need help. It belongs to the people.If an insurance policy unjustly refuses to pay a claim will you say that's o.k. they have children? Clearly you have no experience of this matter. We pay thousands a year in tax, NI and Rates for the time when help is needed. We can find funds for war and olympic games but not to care for our senior neighbours.

Graham Ovens, Bristol,

Perhaps if the NHS didn't have to cater for so many "maternity tourists" from eastern Europe as recently seen in news then there would be more money available for these people most of whom have contributed all their lives into a health service that they now need and deserve some help from.

Derrick, Salford, UK

Many - even most - of the elderly in need of care have children. Where are these children when their aged parents need care? What sort of upbringing did they have, that they are not willing to care for their own parents in need? The welfare state has bred not only a culture of un-earned entitlement, but an attitude of callous disregard for assuming one's proper responsibilities to members of one's family in need of care.

R. Dewar, High Wycombe,