There is always flag-waving aplenty at the great patriotic institution that is Culture, Media and Sport Questions. Indeed, in so many ways it is like the Last Night of the Proms (although without, sadly, the music). Surely the session should be rebranded immediately to reflect this, although the only suitable name I can think of would be the Last Afternoon at the Drones.

It is surprising that Margaret Hodge, the Culture Minister, can bear to be there. She has attacked the Proms for attracting too narrow a section of society. Well, all I can say is that the Proms look like a meeting of the UN when compared with the Last Afternoon at the Drones. Everyone in the chamber was white yesterday. It must be said that the Drones is about as diverse as a loaf of white bread. Somebody should make a speech about it.

Mrs Hodge looked nervous. As well she might. The Tories were up in arms about her anti-Proms comments. So, for that matter, is Labour, including that most fervent flag-waver, Gordon Brown. But Mrs Hodge, who is also Minister for Gaffes, is a survivor.

The first attack came from Nigel Evans, a Welshman who is also a Tory. As such, Mr Evans counts as a minority at Westminster. He is easily outraged. Yesterday he challenged her: “I am sure that you are keen and eager, just waiting to get to that dispatch box, to put the record straight and back the Proms!”

Mrs Hodge did, indeed, rush to the dispatch box but she balked at the idea of putting the record straight.

For Mrs Hodge, as queen of verbiage, has a reputation to protect. She only ever puts the record more and more crooked. Her goal is to make something relatively simple seem as intricate as a Gordian knot.

Her first problem was that her speech had been too sophisticated. “I do not expect that he has actually read what I said in what was a complex argument about the role of our cultural institutions in building British identity.”

The Tories tried to look serious. Mrs Hodge said that the oiks in the media (I paraphrase) had trivialised her speech. She produced a piece of paper: “I would like to quote what I actually did say.”

She began to quote herself. You could feel the fear. What if she never stopped?

“All too often our sectors are not at their best when embodying common belongings themselves,” she droned.

Wow. I can see what she means by complex but I am probably being trivial. What is a sector? What is its common belongings? Mrs Hodge kept on quoting herself. She said audiences of events such as the Proms show that “people from different backgrounds” do not feel at ease in being part of this.

The Tories were shouting now. “If you will listen!” barked Mrs Hodge (who, handily, is the MP for Barking). She kept on about sectors until, finally, the other Drones had had enough.

“Boo! Boo!” cried the Tories, some pretending to shovel dirt.

“Order!” cried the Speaker, who told Mrs Hodge: “I think the rest can go in the library.”

Oh dear. Maybe the Speaker did not see how complex this all was either.

Sir Patrick Cormack, a grand old Tory, was up on his dainty feet. He wants the Proms to play a central role in the Cultural Olympiad in London and denounced Mrs Hodge’s speech as being about as clear as the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Meow! Actually, I am not sure if the Archbishop goes to the Proms. This may be just as well: he is not very diverse although he could, of course, be a sector.

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