Ken Livingstone launched his campaign for mayor by inviting 100 people who owe him (sorry, believe in him) to hear him talk. And talk. And talk. As he droned on, I amused myself by trying to sum up what was going. After 25 minutes I wrote down “machine politician”. But, then, at minute 42, I realised that he was better than that and wrote down “Stalin”.

“Wow, the claque’s all here,” noted a colleague, observing the serried ranks of believers who had gathered on the fifth floor of the Festival Hall. It was a very London view: we could see the Eye, the Thames and, of course, Ken.

“This election is not Celebrity Big Brother,” said Ken. “It is about incredibly serious issues.”

The claque nodded but, actually, for them, it is about Ken and the Revolution. He is the closest thing they have to Che. He used to be Red Ken although by now, what with rain and all, he must be Rusty Ken. Still, it is amazing what WD40 can do: I listened carefully and he hardly squeaks at all. His achievements are impressive, not least when they are repeated three times. Ken has stamped out racism, secured the Olympics, saved the transport system, built homes for the poor, stopped crime and made London better than New York. Now he is fighting climate change by targeting the evil rich people who own Porsches. He is also, oh yes, leading a global Renaissance.

More impressive even than this, though, is the way Mr Livingstone leaves nothing to chance. He was introduced by the gentle voice of Doreen Lawrence, the mother of the murdered teenager, Stephen. Her endorsement, born of tragedy, was utterly genuine. The mayor accepted it, kissed her on both cheeks and used it for every bit of political mileage it was worth.

He praised the police for how they had changed since Stephen’s murder but they did not get all the credit. “Racist incidents and antiSemitic incidents in the city have been cut by 50 per cent in eight years because we made the case for tolerance and multiculturalism,” said the man who may have forgotten that he once called a Jewish journalist a concentration camp guard.

He doesn’t think his opponent would do the same. “Boris Johnson’s campaign attacks political correctness, which is a nice little dog-whistle, as Lynton Crosby calls it, and it is very much typical of the subliminal message that is put out.”

This sentence will mystify most people but by those of us who live in the world of politics it is easily understood. Ken invokes the name of Lynton Crosby, the legendary Aussie spin-doctor who is credited with inventing the idea of a “dog-whistle”: a phrase that is not offensive in itself but will be heard to mean something more sinister by some people. In this case, Ken infers, Boris is using the term “political correctness” as a way of attracting people who are racists.

It was a rottweiler moment, one of many, but the most savage. Still, it was an effective hatchet job. By the end, Ken had implied, more or less, that Boris was racist, right-wing and in love with Porsches. Plus he has a house in Henley. Enough said.

Actually that’s not right. For, like Stalin, Ken has never said enough. He had one other message. “The last years to be mayor of this city has been incredibly humbling and an amazing privilege,” he noted. “So few people get that!” We could all see how humble he was. It’s getting dirty now.

Labour’s pledges for London

— Continue investing to transform the transport system

— Continue improving bus services, modernise the Tube, build Crossrail and improve London rail services — Continue 6 per cent reduction in crime each year

— Add a further 1,000 police over the next year and maintain a dedicated police team in every neighbourhood

— Build a minimum of 50,000 new affordable homes in the next three years

— Introduce 24-hour operation of the Freedom Pass for older and disabled Londoners

— Extend the student travel discount to Oyster One Day Travelcards; maintain free travel for under18s on the buses

— Maintain good community relations - continue to reduce racist attacks

— Youth centres for young people.

— A £78 million programme to set up youth centres and improve youth services throughout London to provide safe facilities outside school hours

— A £25 daily charge for high carbon-emitting cars to enter the Central London congestion zone and no charge for the greenest cars, with a London-wide Low Emission Zone to keep the worst polluting lorries out of London

Source: kenlivingstone.com

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