Ann Treneman Parliamentary Sketch
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Vera Baird is not so much a politician as a Valkyrie. Tall and willowy, with a head of flaming red hair, she is a fighter by nature.
She is also, confusingly, the Solicitor-General, a job usually reserved for the deeply dull (Mike O'Brien and Harriet Harman were previous incumbents. I rest my case). How did Vera get through the net? I have no idea, but I welcome it.
Vera does not suffer fools gladly. This makes her, in the Commons, almost permanently irritated. “I have already told the honourable gentleman that about 50 times,” she exploded yesterday at some poor chap who tried to ask a question.
This was the first Solicitor-General's Question Time (yes, such a thing exists) since Valiant Vera gave an interview in which she called the law of primogeniture “rubbish”. She wants to change it. I knew that was too interesting to last and, sure enough, her boss the Attorney-General, Baroness Scotland of Asthal (very, very dull), immediately said that it wasn't going to happen.
Or will it? For there was a whiff of revolution in the air yesterday as the topic was raised repeatedly on all sides of the House. Admittedly, first up was Andrew Mackinley, a man in a state of almost permanent apoplexy. He wanted to know if Vera would use the Single Equality Bill to end male primogeniture.
Vera tried to be dull and almost succeeded. The Government was “ready to consider the arguments about primogeniture”. Notice that this was not a no. I felt “Rubbish!” was never far away.
Andrew was bouncing up and down with anger now: “The male primogeniture rule is offensive but so are the rules relating to the religious faith of the head of state. It is time we were radical and addressed this! Let's get on with it!”
“I hear what you say,” said Vera, speaking very carefully. For she wanted to say “I agree. It's rubbish!” But she didn't.
Dominic Grieve, who is both conservative and Conservative, said that in respect of male primogeniture: “I suspect there is probably a universal view across the House that it is an area in terms of the royal succession that could be sensibly changed.”
Wow. Revolutions do make for strange bedfellows. But now Dominic Grieve remembered just in time who he was and said that, actually, on second thought, perhaps nothing should be done.
“Obsequious!” shouted Andrew Mackinlay.
Vera's slot was over and now Barbara Follett, the deputy women's minister, was in the chair. The Tories kept on asking about primogeniture, though Barbara, who is more Valium than Valkyrie, did her best not to answer them.
The Liberal Democrat Lynne Featherstone was fuming: “You may be aware that I referred the case of Lady Louise being bumped out of line to the throne to the Commission for Equality and Human Rights.”
The Lib Dems never fail to amaze me. Most people, on hearing that Lady Louise had a little brother, were just pleased for Prince Edward and his wife. But Lynne was boiling because Lady Louise had gone from eighth to ninth in line. I have heard of road rage but never “stork rage” before.
Lynne wanted Barbara Follett to go into battle. “It is right that it be done!” cried Lynne. Barbara began to cluck about tradition and building consensus.
Then, suddenly, a little bit of Vera entered her soul. “You know, primogeniture is a problem. It is offensive.” Then, shocked at herself, she added: “But we have to approach this cautiously.”
Cautiously? I'm not sure that's a word that Valkyrie use.
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