In January 1998 the Monica Lewinsky scandal finally broke and my heart bled for Hillary, coming on top, as it did, of the Paula Jones sexual harassment suit. Inevitably I thought back to all those young interns, and our guided tour of the West Wing by the President himself, of the Oval Office and the little room off it with the photocopier. My reaction was basically, Oh Bill, how could you?

From the young woman's point of view, I can quite see how it happened. Bill Clinton is a tremendously charismatic man who is able to mesmerise anybody he meets and give them the feeling that he is totally interested in them and what they are saying, which is clearly not always the case. As for him, I thought he was bloody stupid.

Just a few weeks later we were due in Washington for Tony's first formal visit as head of government. If I had been impressed by Hillary before, I was doubly impressed by her now. Dignity is not the word.

Yet I could see for myself how angry she was with him. Not just for humiliating her, but for jeopardising their joint project, and I could also see how desperately he was trying to win back her approval.

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BACKGROUND

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• Leo: my miracle baby at 45 (and yes, he did have the MMR jab)

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The shining light in all this was Chelsea. She is a fantastic young woman, incredibly sensible, intelligent, talented, and very much her own person with her feet firmly on the ground, and I think that says something about the parenting they have both given her.

Chelsea is just terribly reliable and you know exactly where you are with her. In all this time she was a very important link between her parents. I think that the fact that she was supportive of her mum and understood how her mum was feeling, yet at the same time was able to forgive her dad, was a very important part of why they stayed together.

People have wondered whether Tony or I felt ourselves placed in a difficult situation, given our Christian beliefs. The same thing had been asked a few months earlier when Robin Cook, Tony's Foreign Secretary, was outed by the press as being involved in an extramarital affair. The answer in both cases is no.

Obviously we both believe in marriage. Once that ring is on your finger and the promises are made before God, then fidelity should be a given. But how people conduct their lives is ultimately their own business and as far as Bill Clinton is concerned, a British Prime Minister is never going to undermine an American president. As for me, I was never even tempted to raise the subject with him - nothing to do with him being President of the United States. It wasn't me he betrayed, and with my father's back catalogue I am not unused to men's infidelity.

I did, however, discuss it with Hillary.

In her view, the way the right wing relentlessly pursued it was all part of a wider attempt by their enemies to discredit Bill. The most important aspect, she said, was not to let it undermine the presidency. So on a political, strategic level that was the line they took - that this had been politically motivated and stirred up by those who wanted to undermine the Democratic presidency. On a personal level, however, there is no doubt that she was furious and hurt - and rightly.

The idea, however, that men just can't help behaving like that is nonsense. It's a myth which actually leads to a lot of mischief in the world; it's why women are stuck behind burkas. As for the idea that men are inflamed by the slightest glimpse of an available body, I don't believe it for a second. Uncontrol- lable sexual urges are nothing of the sort. Of course men can control them, just as women can.

Although by nature Hillary Clinton is not a touchy-feely type of person, I found her to be much warmer than her public persona might suggest. She has tremendous dignity and cares passionately about her and Bill's joint project, which was to make the US the land of opportunity, not just for the advantaged but for everyone.

Speaking for Myself is published by Little, Brown at £18.99. Available from BooksFirst at the reduced price of £16.99, free p&p: 0870 1608080

©Cherie Blair 2008

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