There was a time, just a few wars ago, when a British soldier in uniform could expect instant respect from a member of the public, while a man in civilian clothes at a time of war would be an object of suspicion. Today it is the soldier who is more likely to be cold-shouldered or even abused.

Between the Second World War and the current war in Iraq, a chasm has opened up between the British public and its soldiers.

True, relations between squaddies and civilians were never uniformly civil. Even during the Second World War, there were those who resented that men in uniform were served first in shops and bars.

Yet there was an instinctive respect for the Armed Forces, a widespread understanding that the people in uniform were carrying out an unpleasant and arduous democratic duty and were owed an important moral debt.

That sense of community was even more pronounced in the First World War when 700,000 British soldiers perished in battle, but hundreds of thousands more shared an experience of war and brought it home with them into civilian life. In a sense, the British public and its soldiery understood the same story.

That is no longer true today. Not only have only a small proportion of the population served in the Armed Forces, but also the experience of active warfare is, for most civilians, a remote affair, something viewed on television, an adjunct of politics.

In a heartfelt speech last September, General Sir Richard Dannatt, the head of the Army, spoke of the “growing gulf between the Army and the nation”.

He contrasted the low-key British attitude to its homecoming soldiers with the reception of veterans in America, where “companies offer military discounts, sports teams give out free tickets, people in the street shake the hand of men in uniform”.

In part, that is because American servicemen still routinely wear uniforms in public.

In Britain, IRA violence in the 1970s prompted the Ministry of Defence to order that servicemen wear civilian clothes when off duty to avoid becoming targets. Soldiers melted into the population, while the progressive closure of barracks in cities pushed the Forces farther to the periphery of British life.

The Ministry of Defence compounds that alienation today by controlling strictly media access to returning soldiers and often insisting that a military adviser sits in on interviews. The notion that a uniform might be seen as a provocation rather than a source of patriotic pride reached a new level last March when personnel at RAF Wittering in Cambridgeshire were told not to wear their uniforms in Peterborough, as they might be subjected to verbal abuse.

In America, where there is considerable opposition to the Iraq war, there is nonetheless a determination to demonstrate support for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan: bumper stickers, yellow ribbons, flags and homecoming parades.

In Canada, the road along which dead soldiers are brought home has been renamed the Highway of Heroes. As the escorted convoy passes, hundreds of ordinary Canadians line the road to show respect and support.

By contrast, most of the British dead return without ceremony, fanfare or much attention.

In part, this is the old-fashioned British inclination not to make a fuss, a residual display of the stiff upper lip. But is also reflects the way that the once-strong bond between the Armed Forces and the public has been diluted.

As many ex-servicemen will attest (angrily, but usually off the record) it is not the outright hostility of the few, nor the antiwar sentiment that pains them, but something far more damaging: a casual public indifference that makes this war different from any that has preceded it.

Pride on parade

United States The public has huge respect and appreciation for the armed forces. Military personnel wear their uniforms in public as a matter of routine. They get cheap tickets for sporting and other social events and cheap flights

Canada During body-repatriation ceremonies full military honours are accorded and coffins transported by cavalcade with police escort along the Highway of Heroes

France The forces are celebrated on nine days every year, including Armistice Day and Bastille Day. The wearing of uniforms is commonplace. Teenagers aged 16-18 must attend a “defence preparation day” to familiarise themselves with the role of the armed forces

Australia Members of the military wear their uniforms when going to work. Main bases hold open days

Russia Russians celebrate their armed forces on February 23. Founded as Red Army Day in 1922, the event was renamed Defender of the Fatherland Day in 1995 and has been a national holiday since 2002

China Rallies across the country on August 1 celebrate the armed forces. The date commemorates the founding of the People's Liberation Army in 1927

Bulgaria A Day of Bravery is held on May 6, St George's Day in the Julian calendar, as he is the patron saint of the Bulgarian army

India Holds separate days for its army, navy and air force. Army day, on January 15, marks the official handover of the army from the last British commander-in-chief to the Indian Field Marshal, KM Cariappa, in 1949, and usually consists of parades and military exercises

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