Ann Treneman: Parliamentary Sketch
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It is not often that you hear one MP accuse another MP of something that sounds very much like murder. And yet that is what happened in the Chamber late last night as the debate that had been fraught but controlled became just plain fraught.
Nadine Dorries had the floor. Ms Dorries is the new darling of the Conservative benches. She is fiery and passionate, a former nurse who has made reducing the abortion limit her defining issue. Last night she sat through the debate, surrounded by a cadre of adoring men plus Ann Widdecombe.
The debate, at times, teetered on the brink of absurdity. First there was the hairdresser question. Did a consultation at the hairdressers take longer than one for an abortion? And what about a vasectomy: did that consultation take longer? A Tory popped up to say he’d had a vasectomy. This is what Trisha television has done to us. The conclusion? Well, we now know that vasectomy consultations are longer than those for haircuts.
But I digress. Ms Dorries arose about 9.20pm, to cheers from the cadre. I’m not sure what the male equivalent of a harem is (marem?) but I was watching it last night. She stood, swaying, concentrating so hard that she did not see a Labour MP trying to intervene.
Her harem/marem was outraged. “Give her a chance!” they shouted. Nadine looked up: “I definitely won’t give way now!” This was met by a huge cheer. She was the Queen for the Day.
Nadine told us how she had decided that the limit must be reduced after, as a nurse, seeing botched abortions. “The first time this happened, a little boy was aborted into a cardboard bedpan that was thrust into my arms. This little boy was gasping through mucous and amniotic fluid for his breath. And I stood with him for seven minutes while he gasped: a botched abortion which became a live birth then became a death seven minutes after. And I knew that one day I would have the opportunity to stand and defend babies like this. What I thought was, what we were committing that day was murder.”
One of the marem cried: “Legislative murder!”
And so it went on. One marem member noted that Dawn Primarily, the Minister, had been in favour of saving the lives of other babies (saviour siblings) but was against extending the abortion limit. “I think that she may have a selective preferences as to which lives she wants to save,” said Ms Lorries. Dawn jumped up, clearly angry. “Ooooohhhhh,” cried the marine. Dawn faced her down. Nadine blinked, as the marem looked on, adoringly.
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