Ann Treneman: Parliamentary Sketch
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She is known as Harriet Harperson and she was the happiest that I have ever seen her as she unveiled her beloved Equality Bill. She’s on her white horse (make that a mare) and she’s going to shake things up. Young and old, black and white, female and male. We’ll all be better off in Harriet’s brave new world.
At times, she actually glowed. This was too much for the renegade Tories. “Disgusting!” they shouted as she told us why it can be right positively to discriminate. “Outrageous!” Harriet took that as a compliment. She has been called many names, for her painfully earnest brand of feminism drives many to distraction, but never anything as exciting as outrageous. She glowed even more. She told us that she is tackling “Sexism in the City”. For Harriet, this was positively risqué.
Philip Davies is head of the renegades known, on the Tory back benches, as the Taleban Tendency. Yesterday he was beside himself. “This Bill has nothing to do with equality! This is the most politically correct Bill ever from the most politically correct minister that this country has ever seen.”
Harriet blushed. So many compliments! Mr Davies kept on ranting. “This reintroduces discrimination into the workplace. How many of her colleagues - hand-wringing white male colleagues - have offered to give up their seats in this House to make way for more women and more ethnic minorities?”
A Labour backbencher shouted: “You’re in the Stone Age!” Actually I think Mr Davies took that as a compliment. The sisterhood was out in force. Patricia “Patsy” Hewitt said what was needed now was a European equality directive. At this Philip Davies’s body contorted and sprang involuntarily into the air. (“He’s frothing at the mouth!” cried one Labour MP).
Harriet thanked Patsy and told her she was wonderful. “Her comment today reminds me of happy days when she was director of Liberty and I was the legal officer and we were together on the women’s rights committee,” trilled Harriet as Patsy glowed. John Bercow, a Tory fan of hers (yes, they do exist), heaped praise on the plan. Harriet praised his praise. “He is proof that not all on his side are still stuck in a Stone Age. And also, from what he said, I would say - although I would have to reflect on this with my colleagues - perhaps he ought to be regarded as an honorary member of the sisterhood!” Now Bercow was glowing. This was getting ridiculous.
Ian Gibson, the Labour MP who is a very young 69, was also full of compliments. “I can’t say that the elderly will be dancing in the streets tonight because of, uh, functional problems,” he announced, “but I’m sure they will welcome it too.” Harriet, now almost heady with it all, said: “Has he seen Strictly Come Dancing! Does he know how old Bruce Forsyth is?”
Fiona Mackintosh, the Labour MP, was exasperated. “The Daily Express describes this as ‘White Men to Face Jobs Ban’.” she said. “I would think they would have welcomed it given the age of their readers. But will you give some articulation that this is not a proposal to ban white men from jobs?” Harriet nodded. “I absolutely can,” she said. “I share your frustration at the deliberate misunderstanding. This is about promoting fairness!” As she said this, Harriet Harperson looked ferociously earnest. For her, this is as close to Heaven as it gets.
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At the moment, petrol and energy costs are hitting record levels, inflation is rising, our young people cannot get on the housing ladder, the gap between rich and poor is widening, the country is braced for more flooding, and knife/violent crime is escalating. Priorities, anyone?
Roy, WSM,
Yes, men. If you are earning over your lifetime a quarter of a million pounds more than me simply because you are a man, then yes we do expect some changes round here. Two possibilities are that you earn less, or that you cooperate in building a system where we can afford fair pay for all.
Janey, Norwich,
Hazel, you talk about 'centuries'. Most of us haven't been around that long. Are you prepared to be discriminated against for being British and white if you are on the basis of 'benefitting' from an empire that disappeared long before you were born? I am certainly not.
Paul, Coventry,
The way the media have interpreted this clouds out the actual purpose of this bill: to put a halt to the current discrimination that works against women and ethnic minorities. It is commonly known that men hire men like them as they are in the same social set. This works against this trend: GOOD.
A Taylor, Leamington Spa,
For years legislation has been working to ensure equality. All this woman is doing is destroying that - I think a job should go to the best candidate regardless of age, race or gender. I want to go through life knowing I got a job because I was the best candidate not because I am a woman.
Ella Burt, Torrington, England
Are labour activley trying to lose the next election? I find it hard to think so much incompetence is accidental. It's almost like they're trying to swing UK politics to the right... how far right remains to be seen. Oh well the only winners of this will be the BNP or NF.
dg, lincoln,
I don't understand all the fuss. Men have been getting jobs just because they are men for centuries! Organizations will only be able to use this legislation when they have a gender imbalance in their workforce - women or men. All other things being equal, why would this be a bad thing?
Hazel, Gloucestershire,
This is an Inequality Bill, the consequence of which will be working-class white males being further disenfranchised. If only I'd been born female and had a private school education ...
Paul, Coventry,
I think it is disgusting that it may be thought that a woman or minority only got the job because of this proposal, and not for the skills they have in doing a good job. Being a female in a male working environment I would hate it if my colleagues thought I only got the job because of my sex.
Michelle Cantoni, Bristol,
Elsewhere in The Times there is the headline "Labour finish behind BNP in election humiliation".
Maybe people have had enough of political correctness ruining our country?
Roger B, Norwich,
The proposal is to favour women and "minorities" (whatever that may mean). Given a fixed number of jobs, this obviously means giving fewer of them to white men (who are neither women nor minorities). So the clever new anti-discrimination policy is to discriminate!
Tom Welsh, Basingstoke,
call me old-fashioned but i thought that to discriminate meant to see the difference between things,as in to discriminatebetween quality and rubbishor between men and wimmin- sic
peter c, devizes, wessex
Hey give Harriet a chance. She may not be in a job come 2010 and will probably need all the help she can get (positive discrimination or otherwise) to get her something that will keep her in the manner that she has grown accustomed to.
John Goode, Welwyn Garden City, UK
So I could carryout my role as Dad and responsibility as a caring parent, is not empowered to enforce this pointless court order on the mother who has now withheld my children for 9 months they only live over the road and have to pass my home to go to school. I would not wish this torture on someone I hated, why do these Law Lords that want fairness for criminals want this for me?
Dave Farmer, Broxbourne, England
Yet another example of how, in the modern era, you can get a job on what you are rather than who you are, it seems that instead of being the best qualified, you have to be the best fit for the quota. This is disgusting - positive discrimination is merely another discrimination dressed up nicely.
Joseph Gibson, Stockton-on-Tees, United Kingdom