There was more whimper than bang when Britain's champion of Magna Carta launched his by-election campaign yesterday.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. When you are risking your political career to defend a nation's civil liberties, the least you deserve is a heavyweight opponent. David Davis has 25 rivals for the East Yorkshire seat of Haltemprice & Howden but the only one who proved up for the fight yesterday was a beauty queen.

Gemma Garrett travelled overnight from Henley-on-Thames to the Best Western hotel in Hull where the former Shadow Home Secretary was launching his campaign. Unfortunately, the reigning Miss Great Britain missed his speech because she was having her hair done.

The extensive cast of fringe candidates is causing headaches for the BBC, which has found itself in a quandary over how to cover the contest without breaching broadcasting rules on impartiality. It is understood that high-level discussions have been held over how to report Mr Davis's campaign without prompting demands for equal coverage from his 25 rivals.

His launch was one of those events overwhelmed by a slightly embarrassed sense of anti-climax before its main man has even taken to the stage. In a small function room at the Willerby Manor Hotel, down the road from the local Conservative Association office, 24 chairs had been placed facing a vacant lectern.

Four seats were occupied by journalists, the rest by assorted supporters of Mr Davis. Two large, ever-so-slightly wobbling young men have squeezed into front-row seats, gently sweating inside thin campaign T-shirts with the slogan: David Davis: Fighting for British Liberty.

The stage backdrop carried two prominent quotes. One was from Benjamin Franklin: “Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither liberty nor security.” The other read: “... one of the most fascinating by-election contests in living memory”. It is attributed thus: “Michael Thrasher, Sky News, 12 June, 2008.”

Shortly before the great moment, a campaign press officer whispered loudly to the young T-shirt brigade, reminding them to clap when Mr Davis entered the room. Which he then did, to loud applause. He made a ten-minute speech to launch his personal mini-manifesto before inviting questions. The first was from the BBC and the second came from Robert de Keyser, leader of the Miss Great Britain Party, who affably invited Mr Davis to a debate with his candidate.

The Conservative candidate offered to discuss the matter later, then swiftly exited the stage, his face a paler shade of thunderous. Poor Mr Davis. He expected to be thrashing out the issues with a Labour representative of Gordon Brown's “over-weaning, interfering, increasingly authoritarian State”. Instead, his best-known opponent is David Icke, a former sports presenter who chose live television to proclaim himself the son of God.

When they go to the polls on July 10, the voters of Haltemprice & Howden will not be able to vote for Labour, the Liberal Democrats, UKIP or even the BNP. They will, however, be able to plump for the Church of the Militant Elvis Party, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (candidate: Mad Cow-Girl), the New Party, the Christian Party, the Freedom 4 Choice Party, the Socialist Equality Party and the National Front.

Completing the list, a record number of by-election candidates, are a rape campaigner, a Northampton market trader, assorted Independents and Ronnie Carroll, 73, who twice represented Britain in the Eurovision Song Contest during the 1960s.

The irony of such pantomime politics, of course, is that the issues that Mr Davis seeks to raise are deadly serious. He opposes an extension to what is already “the longest period of pre-charge detention in the free world” and also wants to block “the most intrusive ID card system in the world”.

So you raise the civil liberties standard and who comes out to fight? A “blonde babe” whose manifesto demands “compulsory health and beauty education”.

Mr Davis lies in the bed he made, against the wishes of his party leader. David Cameron visits the constituency next week. I bet he can't wait.

Times Recommends

• An officer and a gentle woman
• Dame Helen Mirren is worthy of the Epidaurus
• Foods that can help to prevent swine flu