Ann Treneman
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To Claridge’s, then, to observe the touching reunion of Westminister’s two most famous yachtsmen. I speak, of course, of George Osborne and Lord Mandelson, of Foy and Hartlepool. It was their first meeting since that glorious holiday in Corfu where they dined at the now famous taverna, happily dripping poison in each other’s sunburnt ears, looking out on the harbour where the yacht of the Russian zillionaire Oleg Deripaska rocked gently to and fro in a sultry breeze.
It was colder yesterday but no less thrilling as we gathered at Claridge’s glittering ballroom for the Spectator Parliamentarian of the Year awards. George, as last year’s Politician of the Year, was the presenter. Lord Mandelson, his mahoganised hair parted even more severely than usual, was to receive an award, though he didn’t know which one.
They sat opposite each other on Table Number One, exchanging coy glances across an impressive expanse of stiff white linen. I was on the next table and as we sipped our chilled Pol Roget – credit crunch, what credit crunch? – I knew this was as close as I’d ever get to the Corfu experience. Sadly, Oleg couldn’t make it to the lunch, though he has enlivened politics so much that surely he deserves some award, perhaps for Host of the Year.
We were soon awash in sailing terminology. “Please join me in piping aboard the one and only George Osborne,” trilled Matthew d’Ancona, the Spectator Editor, to titters.
George jumped on stage with an air of determined perkiness. This was a test. George, who’d been badly wounded by Yachtgate, had agreed to host the awards long before he knew Mandy would be there. The result was pure political theatre: George must now give an award – and shake hands with – the man who everyone believes was responsible for his present agony.
The first award was for Newcomer of the Year. Mr d’Ancona gave a teasing introduction to a man who had had “more comebacks than Rasputin”. (Another Russian connection! Don’t tell Oleg.) Mandy, realising it was him, shook his head in mock amazement. Matthew gave us the Corfu weather report and Mandy bounded up.
“Bong!” went a recorded Big Ben as George gave Mandy his gong. They shook hands (their first touch since Corfu!) and grinned for the camera. George looked embarrassed, Mandy perfectly at home. The new Business Secretary is so good at mock that it’s unreal.
“Well thank you,” said Mandy, his voice as silken as his tie. “Having walked down the political gangplank a couple of times, it is great to be back on board – as we say in Corfu!” At the word “Corfu”, George grinned even harder, his lips stretched to their absolute limit, for he was up next. Was this what he went into politics for? But now it was showtime!
“I have to say,” began George, rocking to and fro, getting his sea-legs, “I was a little nonplussed when I was told I was going to give an award to someone named Lord Mandelson and then I remembered – it was the guy I met on holiday!”
Mandy chuckled. George, steadier now, ploughed on: “You know how it is – he was the only other English guy at the resort, you swapped stories about work back at home, thinking that you are never going to see them again . . . ”
At this there were screams of joy from the audience. George added: “It’s great that we, as winners of these awards, are once again in the same boat!” Oh how we all laughed. Just like old times. Just like Corfu.
Round the Spectator table
1. George Osborne
2. Harry Burhnam, Threadneedle
3. Iain Duncan Smith
4. Simon Davies, Threadneedle sponsor
5. Sir Michael Wilcox, Black Rod
6. Andrew Neil
7. Lord Mandelson
8. Jonathan Dimbelby
9. Emily Mathis, BBC presenter
10. Lord Saatchi
11. Adam Boulton, Sky News
12. Matthew d'Ancona, The Spectator

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The establishment, old boys network, all friends together, I'll rub your back, if you rub mine, etc, etc - all comes to mind here !!!!!!!!!!!!
IAN PAYNE, Walsall,