Phil Woolas, the new Immigration Minister with special responsibility for putting his foot in it, came before MPs on the Home Affairs Select Committee yesterday, supposedly ungagged. I was pleased to see him, for I had been under the impression that Mr Woolas was being kept under office arrest. I couldn’t see his leg, though, and I suspected that he had probably been tagged.

Keith Vaz, the pugnacious committee chairman, feared for his human rights. “Was there an attempt to gag you?” he demanded. “Did the Home Secretary prevent you from appearing on Question Time?”

“We took the decision that. . . ” Mr Woolas began.

“We?” cried Mr Vaz. “Meaning you and the Home Secretary?”

“We, meaning me and the Home Secretary and the Government,” explained Mr Woolas. Mr Vaz chortled: “The whole Government was involved!”

“The whole Government was NOT involved,” Mr Woolas said, denying what he’d said only seconds before, which must be a record, even for him. “We took a decision that it was better. . . ”

Mr Vaz pounced again. “So it was a collective gag!”

“It was NOT a gag and it was a collective decision.”

The only thing that was clear, after this exchange, was that Mr Woolas had now been gagged on the subject of the gag. Mr Vaz tested the conditions of Mr Woolas’s bail further by asking him about comments he’d made to The Times about how the Government would not allow the population to reach 70 million.

“So do you favour a numerical cap on immigration?” Mr Vaz asked. Mr Woolas said that he did not. “Therefore the comments you made in The Times were misinterpreted?” Mr Vaz asked.

“I find it interesting that the debate about immigration and population are confused,” Mr Woolas mused. “Fertility and death rates are a major variable of population.”

Mr Vaz nodded briskly: “A cap is unenforceable, unless the Government is proposing to issue chastity belts to everybody in this country!”

Mr Woolas sat back. “Mr Chairman, we considered the electoral implication of that suggestion and we decided against it!” “That is one very good piece of news!” Mr Vaz exclaimed.

And so it went on. Denial followed denial. At times Mr Woolas became almost runic. When asked whether the economic nightmare would affect immigration levels, Mr Woolas announced: “That is what Donald Rumsfeld would call a known unknown.”

There was a prolonged spat about whether Mr Woolas supported Gordon Brown’s statement on British jobs for British workers. Mr Woolas said that he did and then repeated himself (his electronic tag may now have been zapping him).

“But how can you enforce this?” Mr Vaz demanded. “It’s actually EU jobs for EU workers!”

“I think that is slightly unfair,” Mr Woolas said. Mr Vaz announced: “The statement is not worth making is it?” “It is very much worth making,” Mr Woolas insisted.

“But you cannot enforce it, Minister!” “I see no contradiction,” Mr Woolas said. The subject turned from immigration to curry (as it so often does at Westminster). Mr Woolas, after a recommendation from the committee, was allowing more curry chefs into the country, thus averting the much feared chicken tikka crisis. So had the minister had any reaction from the curry industry?

“Mr Chairman!” cried Mr Woolas. “I think I should declare an interest. . . ” Mr Vaz chortled: “On behalf of all of us!” Mr Woolas looked almost shy. “The Leeds Tandoori is extremely grateful.”

So there you have it. Mr Woolas, unplugged though still clearly gagged and bound to government policy, tells all on chastity belts and curry. But on immigration, well, it’s not so clear.

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