Watching a group of agony aunts staring up at him yesterday morning, Ed Balls may have been reminded of the scene in one of the Jurassic Park films in which a big game hunter is torn apart by tiny dinosaurs.

The Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families displayed admirable calm as he hosted a “relationship summit” attended by eight of the nation's agony aunts and uncles. He was not always so relaxed.

Deidre Sanders, who writes the “Dear Deidre” column in The Sun newspaper, remembered that he had been more rattled when they paid their first visit to Whitehall in October to discuss government policy on parental conflict. “He took it on the chin,” she said. “He clearly found it exhilarating, but he did find it quite daunting. If you're a secretary of state and you're used to people being quiet when you talk then it would be difficult if you have lots of people butting in and talking over you.”

The agony writers, fearing that they would receive a brush-off, had come prepared. “Before the meeting we were all in a bar down the road, plotting. What were we going to say if he said 'no' to such and such a question? How were we going to react? But we were met with a very open door.”

The introduction of agony aunts to politics began with a letter to The Times in June last year in which 30 representatives of relationship charities lamented the inadequacy of government policy towards parents going through separations. “Little is done directly to assist with the emotional and relational fallout, or to reduce parental conflict that can be so damaging to children,” they wrote.

The subject was picked up by Newsround, the BBC's news bulletin for children, which received more e-mails about it than any other report except for one about Harry Potter.

Ms Sanders, who receives more than a thousand letters a day from anguished readers, was approached to help to guide government policy. She decided to ask 30 agony aunts currently working for British publications to join her, most of whom were delighted to help. She told the meeting that about a third of her e-mails from teenagers were about the problems their parents were causing them. She recounted the story of a 16-year-old girl who wrote to her this month about her father. He was a drug addict who left without saying goodbye.

The girl wrote: “I've cried myself to sleep every night since. I feel so angry with my dad that he could do that to us. I love him so much but all he does is hurt me all the time. I've suffered from self-harming in the past and now I feel like it's the only way to release the pain. I feel so lost and empty inside. I must have done something terrible to make my dad walk away.”

Ms Sanders collaborated with three other agony aunts to write Kids in the Middle, a booklet offering advice to parents and children affected by a break-up. Mr Balls announced more than £10 million of funding yesterday to help charities to develop programmes to support families that are in danger of tearing themselves apart. He told the summit: “Too often in the past we have focused on supporting adults when they are breaking up but we have not thought enough about the impact on children. When I met with agony aunts last month I heard from them how every day they deal with the heartache that separation can cause in children and adults. Together we are pioneering a new approach.”

Official figures show three million of the Britain's 12 million children will see their parents separate during their childhood.

Ms Sanders said that she was surprised but grateful that agony aunts had been invited to share their expertise. “When [Mr Balls] said 'We'll have an agony aunt summit' all the agony aunts looked very pleased, but his civil servants flinched. I have been impressed by their speed and energy on this.”

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