I don’t know what happened yesterday, but something snapped. Mr Speaker, who used to be plain old Michael Martin MP, must have woken up and decided that he was sick of being the only grown-up in the room. The result was that he threw a major wobbly during PMQs that, since he holds ultimate power in the Commons, was quite something to behold.

Things had begun shakily anyway. The Labour front bench is looking tired in every way these days. The Chancellor, as is his wont, wasn’t there. John Prescott was just back from the Far East. His eyes were red, the bags under them so heavy that they were illegal. He looked like one of those wrinkly Chinese dogs, the Shar Pei. He has acquired a lisp and there is a rumour that he has left his false teeth in a glass in Beijing. I hope whoever finds them doesn’t try to talk sense for those teeth won’t know how to do that. David “Dave” Cameron was in a feisty mood. He immediately began hectoring the Prime Minister about the NHS. Whatever happened to no more Punch and Judy? Yesterday he was all punch, punch, punch.

Three weeks ago, Dave scored a big win at PMQs when he demanded to know if the Prime Minister would back the Chancellor as his successor. Mr Blair refused to say and this brought howls of derision. Indeed it was so successful that Dave decided to have another go, ignoring that you should never go back.

Dave was halfway through his question when the Speaker arose, looking not unlike a giant robed owl.

“Order! order!” he hooted. “I let the right honourable gentleman get away with that before but this matter is not going to be belaboured because the Prime Minister is here to talk about the business of the Government.”

The chamber was in uproar. The Owl demanded they show some respect. “I’m giving a ruling here and it is an important point! Order!” he cried. “Who will be the next leader of the Labour Party is for the Labour Party to talk about.”

The Tories were outraged. Dave looked stunned. Mr Blair seemed embarrassed. The Owl was now in a full tantrum mode. All in all, he cried “order” seven times. That is a sure sign that there is no order. “I’m giving the ruling!” he squawked.

“Ultimately it may be the case that that leader will become the Prime Minister but that it is not a matter for the floor of the House. Order!” Tory MPs were roaring.

The Speaker threatened to suspend the sitting. Dave demanded: “Mr Speaker, are you honestly saying that we cannot ask the Prime Minister . . .”

The Owl hated this. “Order! Order! Order! Anything I say from this chair is said honestly.”

Dave took a deep breath. This is probably the exact kind of tight scrape that Eton prepares you for. “Perhaps I could just ask as my last question,” he said to Mr Blair, “who you would like to see as the next Prime Minister of this country?” The Owl hooted “Order” five more times and then said: “I’ll allow that question, as that’s in order!” This brought yet more mayhem. Does it make any sense to you? Well, you are not alone. Mr Blair was so confused that he heaped praise on Gordon Brown.

The Owl, who is most definitely not wise, looked pleased with himself, although I cannot imagine why.

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