THERE are many dangerous jobs in politics and one of the most perilous of all is presenting the Parliamentarian of the Year awards. Yesterday that job fell to David “Dave” Cameron. He is lucky that he has spent much of the past month hugging hoodies and loving louts. It was good training for lunching at Claridges with the well-dressed thugs and reprobates of Westminster.

Mr Cameron began by announcing that he loves James Bond. Actually I am sure that he was not the only man in the room who fancies that he wouldn’t look all that bad in those teensy blue swimming trunks. But even 007 would have felt a bit faint as we examined the seating plan. For David “000” Cameron was on the same table as Lord Tebbit (can there be such a thing as Polecat Galore?) To his right (appropriately) was the Home Secretary John Reid. I know he is supposed to be a good guy but, in a Bond film, he would have to be an arch-villain.

Those names might give you a clue as to some of the winners of the awards, which are sponsored by The Spectator and judged by journalists (who, I must admit, include myself). It seemed entirely appropriate that the event began with a joke bordering on the tasteless. Matthew D’Ancona, the Editor of The Spectator, looked around the splendidly chandeliered room and noted that it was decorated “with even more attention to detail than Greg Barker’ s sitting room”. The room rocked with gaiety at this reference to the MP who left his wife for an interior decorator. The times they really are a’changing for the Tory party.

The Tory leader was introduced as the most popular Dave in the country (having, apparently, ousted Beckham). Is that true? It seems unlikely. But he was on good form. He thinks Tony Blair did him a favour with his reference to the Chancellor packing a “big clunking fist”. “That will solve all his problems with female voters!” gloated 000, who believes only he has a licence to thrill with women voters.

In the coming year, he noted wryly, he will become the longest-standing leader of a major party. “It looks increasingly likely I will be the only one who doesn’t come from Fife. But a Glaswegian on my table may have a few things to say about that!” John Reid glowered, for that is what he does.

Lord Tebbit, who against all odds really is an eloquent rebel in the Upper House, was Peer of the Year. As he posed for the photograph with Dave there was a tiny power tussle. “We should be closer together,” said Dave, pulling. His lordship had other ideas. “Come over to the right!” he cried.

The Parliamentarian of the Year was Richard Bacon, the backbench Tory whose persistent parliamentary manoeuvrings were the downfall of Charles Clarke, the former Home Secretary. But the ultimate gong of Politician of the Year went to Mr Reid, who was at his most mischievous yesterday as he accepted his award. “David,” he said, echoing the Tory leader’s taunt to the Prime Minister, “thank you for this. You were the future once!”

Mr Reid, the only credible challenger to Gordon Brown for leader, walked a thin line, something he does with style. He noted previous winners: Tony Blair (“still, as far as I know, for the time being, leader of the Labour Party”); Michael Howard, Charles Kennedy and Dave, all leaders at the time. “I am delighted to follow such illustrious predecessors,” he cried, “but I think for the sake of safety, I will say that I am delighted to receive this on behalf of all Scottish members of the Cabinet!”

Oh, how we laughed. Though I cannot imagine that that got many guffaws at the Treasury.

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