Lord Mandelson, as smooth as a glissando, coasted into the Lords chamber bearing that rarest of things these days — good news. His pages and buglers had alerted us that he brought tidings of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and, for a second, he paused by the throne, which glowed back at him in the midwinter gloom.

Oh comfort and joy to be in the Lords for this. In the Commons, they were discussing terrorism and bombs. Outside, frozen Britain shivered. But here, in the warm, the man with possibly more titles than anyone except Her Majesty was telling us about the Diamond Jubilee in 2012. “Queen Victoria is the only British monarch to have celebrated a Diamond Jubilee previously,” he purred. Some peers nodded, as if they remembered it well.

His news was all good. Celebrations would be the first week in June 2012. He was moving the late May Bank Holiday to the first week in June and giving us a Bank Holiday Tuesday as well.

At this, there was a contented rumble. I noted that everyone in the chamber was awake — that was how important this was.

Mandy is issuing a Diamond Jubilee medal. There would be competitions. It was all so traditional, as if the chamber had become festooned with bunting, and as comforting as a roast dinner. Mandy, born to play the grand courtier, told us he was working with “colleagues” at Buckingham Palace on details.

And, oh yes, by the way, Greenwich was to become a Royal Borough.

“In the midst of a cold, bleak winter, you are a little ray of sunshine,” burbled Lord McNally for the Liberal Democrats. He remembered the 1953 Coronation and he wanted more street parties and commemorative mugs. “My 1953 Coronation mug has got lost. So I certainly want a 2012 Jubilee mug!”

Mandy said that he didn’t remember the Coronation. “That is the year that I was bo-o-rn,” he said, voice pirouetting.

Peers were taken aback by his youth: I think I heard a few tut-tuts.

He looked a bit dreamy now. “I am very happy to take ministerial responsibility for street parties,” he said to titters. “Perhaps I shall leave others to take responsibility for mugs.” At the word “mugs”, his eyebrows went straight up, as if pole-vaulting.

He was in tribute overload to the Queen. “She has been as near perfect during every single moment of that reign as any member of the human race could be.”

If the Queen was watching — and I have no reason to think that One wouldn’t have Freeview — then this may have been cause for a few royal chuckles.

The suggestions cascaded in. Would there be a link with the Olympics? I tried to imagine such a thing (the Queen zooming round the velodrome, train flowing behind?) but Mandy said he had ruled it out.

One peer urged Mandy to give his “earliest possible consideration” to ceremonies involving trees — “special trees, suitable trees”. Or, said another, what about a new horse race? “I am sure that creating perhaps a European stakes might be appropriate!” enthused Mandy.

And why not? The summer of 2012 cannot come soon enough.

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