SUNDAYS may never be the same again. First MPs heard that the great British church organ was under threat from an EU directive. Then they discovered that the Department of Trade and Industry has commissioned a “costbenefit analysis” of Sunday itself. Soon there may be nothing sacred anymore, by government decree.

It came as a bit of a surprise to learn that the DTI is in control of church organs, much less Sundays. Why would anyone put a department devoted to money in charge of a day devoted to napping in front of the TV? If the DTI had a theme tune it would be Money Makes the World Go Round, which is hardly a great church organ classic. I suspect that we know what the cost-benefit analysis on the Day of Rest will say.

At least the DTI is on the side of the angels when it comes to church organs. The Government thinks that it is “nonsense” that the incoming EU Restriction of Hazardous Substances Directive may ban the use of lead pipes in them. Ministers are pulling out all the stops (sorry about that) to make sure that it doesn’t happen.

But Alan Beith, a permanently outraged Lib Dem, thinks that ministers should do more than talk. Why not pray too? “Can I invite them to go to the crypt chapel in the House of Commons and listen to the beautiful organ there?” It was “absurd” if the ability to build such an instrument depended on a renewable derogation.

The subject of Sunday was considerably more vexed. Alan Johnson, the Secretary of State for Trade and Industry, said that the results of the cost- benefit analysis would be out today. He emphasised that no decision had been made, but no one believed him.

At Westminster, such a statement usually means that a decision has indeed been made. And everyone knows that Mr Johnson, who is tipped for promotion in the reshuffle, may not even be in the same job by this Sunday.

The Tories were hopping up and down for they, of course, invented Sunday.

They insisted that nothing had changed since 1994 when the Sunday trading laws came in. It was an “irrefutable premise” that Sundays were special. But Mr Johnson insisted that, to the contrary, much had changed in the past 12 years: there were more people working now and our society was more multicultural.

This was too much for a young Tory traditionalist named Tobias Ellwood. He spluttered that Mr Johnson was being politically correct.

“This is Britain! Sunday has always been special. In the 24/7 commercial world that we now live in, it is important that there is a gap, a pause, to allow families and communities to focus on other things simply than the shopping.”

Mr Johnson did not like being lectured. “I am absolutely aware of the strong feelings on this issue,” he said, cheeks even rosier than usual.

Indeed, he said, a vicar from Walsall had chained himself to a bed outside his constituency surgery for the past four weeks.

“The bed actually is meant to signify that Sunday is a day of rest,” noted Mr Johnson. “One of my splendid constituents berated him and said: ‘It’s all right for you to go and work on Sunday. Why are you stopping me?’ ”

Mr Johnson then went into a terrible gush about how special Christmas Day was and, yes, Easter Day too. It was way over the top. If I had shares in Sunday, I’d sell them now.

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