THE Tories revealed their most radical idea yet yesterday. Apparently they want more democracy. Yes, I know, shocking isn’t it? The next thing you know they will be coming out in favour of motherhood and apple pie. When will the madness stop? The answer, on the basis of yesterday, is not anytime soon.

The “Democracy” press conference was held at Conservative Central Office in the all-white media room. It is like being on a cloud but not, sadly, in heaven for surely there cannot be so many irritating people up there. The Tories had tried to spice things up by placing seven little circular tables at the front.

These were reserved for “real people” (ie, not the press). These turned out to be a lord, an MP and lots of people from think-tanks. Actually, I think the idea was to make it look a bit like a cabaret.

It was a great shame that the checked tablecloths and dripping candles stuck in wine bottles were missing. Plus, where was Liza Minnelli? I am sure that she could head a Tory task force on something: why not the one on quality of life, which could be called “Why Life is a Cabaret!”

So, no Liza and no candles, but plenty of singing from the same songsheet. It was David “Dave” Cameron’s first press conference at the headquarters. He had a lectern. I report this with a heavy heart for I had grown fond of how he used to speak while gliding round like a Come Dancing contender. This must be what happens when you make so many U-turns: you need a written speech to tell you which one you are talking about.

Yesterday he was launching the Democracy Taskforce. No one knows why a task force is different from a committee but it undoubtedly sounds better: less bureaucratic and more action-packed.

In fact, Democracy Taskforce could be the name of a new American cop show. You know, like Starsky and Hutch but without the terrible hair and awful cardigans. Taskforce officers could screech round the gritty urban setting of Westminster, arresting people who didn’t vote, such as the Prime Minister.

It is just an idea, but I am sure that Ken Clarke will not need it. He is in charge of the task force and already cannot stop talking about it. Actually, he cannot stop talking in general, which is one of his many charms.

There were some wonderful moments yesterday in which David Cameron could not get a word in edgeways at his own press conference. I could see Dave thinking: who’s in charge here? But that’s what happens when you get more democracy: everyone wants to talk, and for entirely too long.

The main idea is to make Parliament more powerful. “So Parliament really is the cockpit of the place where you talk about things that matter,” said Dave, “and try to do so in a way that people can understand and relate to.”

Well, we can dream. MPs often talk about things that matter but not in a sensible way. And when they do manage to talk sensibly it is often about things that matter only to two sparrows and a dog.

The other problem is Gordon. It seems that he came out in favour of more democracy last month. Dave immediately insisted that he had said it before Gordon. Then Ken said that he had been saying it before both of them. “There is no point in having a silly argument about whether we said it before Gordon,” said Ken. But, Ken could not help but add: “We probably DID!”

THE TASK FORCE

The Democracy Taskforce is one of six policy working groups set up by David Cameron that will report back in 18 months. Its purpose is to:

Examine the way ministers use the Royal Prerogatives, a series of historic powers officially held by the Queen that have, in reality, been passed to politicians

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