MPs CONSIDERED whether to support the consecration of women bishops in the Anglican Church yesterday. This was done via a ten-minute rule Bill. It was proposed by a man. Its main supporter was another man. The first man even cited St Paul, that great lover of women’s rights, as the kind of guy who would back this Bill. I waited for the thunderclap but it never came. The Bill was opposed by a man who quoted another man in his defence.

I never knew it took so much testosterone to discuss women bishops. This is not to say that women were not mentioned in the debate. There was, for instance, the Vicar of Dibley. That she is a character in a TV sitcom does not lessen the greatness of her contribution to the nation in any way.

Andy Reed, the Labour MP who proposed the Bill, said he knew that Graham Leonard, the former Bishop of London, had said that women were no more ordainable than a potato. “I am not sure where he got his interpersonal skills,” said Mr Reed, although he may just be turning the other cheek. Potatoes may have something to say about that too.

Alastair Campbell once told Tony Blair: “We don’t do God.” I am not sure the House of Commons should be doing God either. At one point Mr Reed appealed to all MPs, “regardless of the state of your souls”. Some MPs at first seemed to think that this was a reference to their shoes. They probably think that the way to repair their souls is to go to Timpsons.

Mr Reed asked all MPs to seize this opportunity to put an end to the “stained-glass ceiling”. Mr Reed has absolutely no personal profile in the Commons. This was his moment and he wasn’t going to let it pass. He said that one headline had said that his Bill would trigger a church-state crisis. “I hadn’t realised that I could achieve so much in ten minutes,” he cried. “But if that is one of the outcomes, that will be useful.”

It was all too much for the Tory grandee who is Sir Patrick Cormack. He rose to his feet with great solemnity and made a speech that was as ponderous as a hippo in a mudbath. He had received a letter from a bishop who was against this and his views were shared by an “honourable and significant minority”. Sir Patrick then just happened to let slip that he had been on the General Synod himself until last year. “I do not want to make a great issue of this,” he said, adding: “If the Church of England does move to consecrate women as bishops I will probably be one of those who feels obliged to go elsewhere.”

Well, that’s one way not to make an issue of it. Sir Patrick then had a humility attack. “Nor do I say that I am right. I may be wrong! I don’t know! All I wish to say, particularly to women Members of this House, is that this is not a matter of equality. It may be perceived as such by many, but this is a theological matter.”

The women in the chamber were glaring at Sir Patrick now, their arms crossed in what looked a cross way. Mr Reed presented the Bill to cries of “Genuflect!” By the way, the Bill stands no chance at all of becoming law. Just thought you’d like to know.

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