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Do you agree with Clarkson? Is space travel worth another World War Three? Have your say in the box at the bottom of the page?
Thirty years ago, the Voyager spacecraft were launched. Their mission was to head straight out from Earth into deep space, where they would broadcast songs by whales, messages from Jimmy Carter and directions to Earth, in the hope than an alien culture would drop by for tea and biscuits.
The little ships are doing well. Voyager 1 is around 9.6 billion miles from the sun, doing just over 38,000mph through the termination shock region between the edge of our solar system and interstellar space. Voyager 2 is way beyond Pluto, forging a path through the myriad tiny ice planets that cling precariously to the sun’s gravity. It’s all just too excellent for words, the notion that we’ve sent a message in a bottle out there and now it’s just a question of waiting for Mr Spock to land in Hyde Park.
But, unfortunately, the Voyager craft do quite a lot to undermine the whole business of space travel. You see, by the time they get to the next solar system, the next place where life might be found, Jimmy Carter will be dead, whales will be extinct, the sun will have burnt up, Earth will have been sucked into a black hole the size of a grapefruit, and anyone dropping by for some cucumber sandwiches is going to be pretty cross they made the journey for nothing.
What’s more, the Voyagers demonstrate clearly that we’re never ever going to be whizzing around space seeking out new life and new civilisation, because it’s all just too far away. Think about it. If we’d put a 20-year-old man on Voyager, he’d now be 50 and he’d still be in our own solar system. By the time he reached our next-door neighbours, he’d be about 6 thousand million billion. Or, to put it another way, dead.
What’s to be done, then? Do we just give up? Do we just say: “Oh well, the world’s big enough for our purposes and, all things considered, it’s fairly cosy. So let’s build a shopping mall at Cape Canaveral, turn Baikonur into a museum and I’ll see you at the pub on Saturday”?
No. Don’t you want to go to the termination shock region? It sounds like a ride at Alton Towers but it’s better than that. It’s where the sun’s influence ends, where the solar winds drop from 1.5m miles an hour to nothing, and the bow of our solar system forges a path through the interstellar gases. Don’t you want to know what that looks like? What it sounds like? What it feels like to be standing on the prow of a solar system as it smashes through space at tens of thousands of miles an hour? I do. And I don’t think we should give up on the dream because of something trivial like the laws of physics. In the same way that 16th-century man built ships to see what was on the other side of the ocean, we must build technology to get round the problem of being too slow. We cannot pack in the idea of exploration because we can only do 38,000mph. We have to find a way of proving Einstein wrong. We have to peel away our Gatso mindset, our obsession with avoiding risk, and build a machine that will take us up to and beyond the speed of light.
We’ve explored our own world. We’ve been to the top of it (well, I have) and the bottom. We’ve climbed the highest mountains, explored the harshest deserts and plumbed the deepest oceans. And now it’s time to quench our thirst for knowledge by moving on. By which I mean up.
I should explain at this point that I’m a space nut. When I see photographs of gas clouds taken by the Hubble telescope, they are, to me, like pictures of faraway beaches in travel brochures. They are an invitation to come and see for myself. When I lie on a tropical beach on a clear night, the hairs on the back of my neck rise as I grapple with the concept of infinity, the idea that somewhere out there is another Jeremy Clarkson lying on a tropical beach on a planet exactly like Earth, thinking exactly the same thing at exactly the same time.
And that it’s a mathematical certainty that there’s another Earth, exactly like ours except that Wales is the shape of a sperm. And another that is exactly the same except that their Fiona Bruce has yellow hair. Every possible permutation of our world must be out there, and that’s before you get to every possible permutation of every other imaginable world.
Are we alone in the universe? Of course not. Not if it’s infinite. And we’re not going to find out whether it is by going to the pub and getting all excited because our mobile phone has a new ring tone. Sadly, that is precisely what we are doing. You may think, as you look at the satellites whizzing hither and thither in the night sky, that much is being done behind our backs. Well, sorry to disappoint you but while there are hundreds of thousands of pieces of space junk in orbit round the world, there are only 800 active satellites, and most are boring. Sixty-six per cent were put there so you can speak to your kids during their gap-year in Belize. Seven per cent sit there helping you find a street in Reading. Six per cent are used for military espionage, 5% for predicting weather, and a similar number waste their time looking at polar bears and melting ice. In total, 760 are pointed at Earth. Just 40 are for looking outwards. At the rest of the universe.
So what of the International Space Station?
Well, so far as I can tell, it’s nothing more than a ramshackle garage where astronauts spend their days fixing bits of equipment that have gone wrong. What’s it for? I’m afraid I haven’t a clue. Hubble? Brilliant pictures. Glad it’s there, but when all is said and done it’s just a big Nikon.
All we ever hear about space now are a few hopefuls claiming that they’ll soon be running tourist flights to the cosmos. Richard Branson said in 2004 he’d be taking paying customers for a God’s-eye view of the planet in their jeans and T-shirts by 2007. But he isn’t, yet. The first attempt to put a cheap and reusable spacecraft into orbit was aborted after the pilot heard a long bang. The second nearly came to grief when the plane that is used to take the craft up to 47,000ft went into a dangerous spin after separation.
Space has stalled. And to get it going again, I’m afraid we need a war. War has always been good for humankind. Obviously, it’s not so great when you’re on the battlefield with a big leak in your torso and an arrow in your eye, but, truth be told, battlefields have very little to do with the eventual outcome of the conflict. That’s rarely decided by the soldiers and the generals. It’s decided by the tools they’re given. Charging a machinegun nest advances you and your men 3ft while, back at home, scientists are advancing the whole world by 300 years.
The world’s first electronic computer was built at Bletchley Park not so some spotty youth could spend his afternoon shooting his mates in the face but to crack German codes. Jet planes were built not so you could go to Tenerife but because Germany needed a faster fighter. Radar was developed not so you could land more safely at Heathrow but because we needed to find
U-boat periscopes in the middle of the Atlantic. Almost everything we take for granted today came from war. And the war that gave us more than anything else was the 50-year standoff between Russia and America.
When Russia launched Sputnik 50 years ago, it was nothing more than a small radio, but the beeps it transmitted, when translated, told the listening world: “This is Russia and we’d like you all to know that our German scientists are a hell of a lot better than America’s German scientists.” Or, in English: “You’re going home in a f***ing ambulance.”
Duly insulted, America set up Nasa, found billions to finance it, and embarked on a programme that would prove the Russians, er, right. Having been the first to orbit the world, they became the first to put a dog up there, and then a man. They were also the first to the moon (no, really) and the first to Venus.
The space race became what really ought to have been known as “the ego war”. And it was brilliant. Because unlike in other wars, casualties were restricted to just 22 astronauts and 70 ground personnel, and the benefits to the rest of us were immense. As America’s German boffins struggled to outdo Russia’s German boffins, we got golf clubs made from metal that can remember what sort of shape it’s supposed to be. And people with heart defects got a small vascular pump based on the fuel pumps used in the shuttle. We got the ability to track hurricanes, we got satellite navigation, we got live football matches played on the other side of the world, we got scratch-resistant lenses in our sunglasses, we got solar panels and flat-screen televisions. When a doctor takes your blood pressure, he uses a system devised by Nasa for monitoring the heart rate of its first man in space, Alan Shepard.
The cold war and the space race that resulted were fantastic. It was the greatest lurch forward since Victorian England decided that it could use coal to get itself an empire.
And then the Russians decided to give up, so now it’s all gone wrong. Nasa’s astronauts have stopped pushing the outside of the envelope and keep busy instead by getting drunk and trying to murder one another. Space is run by the infernal health-and-safety industry, which won’t let a brave young test pilot go up there if there’s even the slightest concern that he might not come back again. Space exploration is for the benefit only of shareholders, and programmes are run and operated by the lowest bidders.
As a result, the magic of space exploration has gone. Instead of getting up at 3am to watch a fuzzy man bouncing around a sound stage in Nevada, we turn over and go back to sleep. We look today at the space shuttle and think of it as an ugly and outdated lorry that blows up when it takes off and disintegrates when it comes back again. I don’t. I see a machine that generates 37m horsepower but produces nothing from its exhausts except water. I see a fabulous creation that lights up the night sky with its power and is doing 120mph by the time its tail has cleared the launch tower and 17,500mph by the time it’s cleared the atmosphere. I see a machine that could get from Florida to Spain via space in 20 minutes, and can deal with the furnace of re-entry. A furnace that burns three times hotter than the surface of the sun. And best of all, I see a machine that glides back to Earth with no power, somehow kissing the runway at exactly 211mph.
And I always think to myself: that’s brilliant. But where would we be if Russia and America were still at one another’s throats? The termination shock region, probably, where, who knows, they might have come back with a cure for the common cold, an easy-to-wire plug and iPod earpieces that don’t get all tangled up.
I listened three years ago to George Bush’s vision for our future in space, and I have to say that it made a deal more sense than his vision for our future down here on Earth. He talked of building a new long-distance space exploration vehicle to replace the shuttle, which will be retired in 2010. He spoke of establishing a permanent manned base on the moon from where all deep-space missions could be launched. And it wasn’t like he’d been watching Star Trek the night before either, because he reasoned that moon launches would not have to overcome as much gravity as they do on Earth. He even revealed that the moon’s “soil”, as he put it, contained elements that could power rockets and even be used to manufacture breathable air. “We do not know where this journey will end,” he said, “yet we know this: human beings are headed into the cosmos.”
There was much cheering and whooping from the audience when he made these remarks, but none from me. Watching an idiotic president promising a bunch of space geeks that they’d have a moon base and ray guns and warp speed to the Andromeda system was all very well, but without impetus it was never going to happen. That’s why I’m delighted to see Russian bombers back in Nato airspace and radioactive poison all over the restaurant tables in London. And it’s why I’m delighted to note that Russia, buoyed by its new wealth and power, has announced plans to build a moon base for missions to Mars.
It means we can go back to the good old days. It means we can go to the stars.
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Jeremy should have acknowledged that pretty much all of the inventions and developments that came out of the cold war came from the American side of the equation.
Matt, Sacramento, USA
Indeed Jeremy speaks the truth; we have invented everything well mostly from war during conflict. Who knows maybe we will get out there in space or maybe we wont the sad truth is only time and funds will tell and arrogant Americans. The nation that is America is not efficient in anything incl war.
Joshua R. Williams, Trowbridge, The United Kingdom
Yeah but two problems,
1 The yanks or the ruskies will be the first to meet our erstwhile visitors... Can you imagine that going well?
2 If the visitors came then you have to wonder who they meet first, and quite frankly if they got to us they are more advanced than us: Are they really going to sit back and watch the likes of Zimbabwe Iraq Afganistan N.Korea and whatever next genocide we are comitting go on, or are they going to put us into little galss jars and see if we fight...
Or Maybe we are already int he glass jars?
Tos, Nairobi, kenya
"It provides exceptional scientific and astonomical data and the chance to view distant galxies, stars and regions in Space not possible from this side of the Earths atmosphere." - Sure, but at the end of the day it's still just a big old camera isn't it?
NASA could sit on their hands crunching said 'astronomical data' for an astronomical time and well...we are back to square one.
We should hope to see some progress once the LHC comes online in May, but until then, the unfortunate truth is that Jeremy is... more or less right.
The transistor was invented during the WWII (near the end), we also have velcro thanks to the space race. The only problem is that the next war will most likely be a nuclear one...when it does happen, we would be far worse off than we are right now (in the event all nations launch simultaneously)....but as far as space exploration and new technologies are concerned, we need to get off our laurels and a war between super powers just might do the trick...
Michael de Silva, London,
Jeremy, your not nuts, you have a similer vision as I. You see its my vision that our other planatery freinds live the other side of the SUN. We have our Galaxy this side of the SUN and if we even contemplate pointing anything in the direction of the SUN we get a sun tan. We need to overcome the heat issue and think about sending a satalite camera over the other side of the SUN as thats where you will find another Galaxy similer to our own at the same distance from the SUN as we are able to support life like us. It makes sense that if we on this plane are the only ones close enough to the sun to survive then we need to look at the other side, the side we cannot see and cannot get near due to the heat, maybe thats the key.
P McCarthy fellow nutter, plymouth, england
War was always an accelerator of the human progress, but rapid progress is here without it. Not so rapid, I agree. But it is here.
Jeremy, will we always need a war (even cold) to advance? Will human history will continue to be a history of wars and boring periods between them? What is wrong with current status quo? Are you prepared to be one of the casualties of next war?
Vladimir Popov, Sydney, Australia
I think Jeremy Clarkson should volunteer for the Voyager III mission.
Dan, Zurich, Switzerland
Einstein is in fact wrong. There is a feature-length documentary coming out in 2008 that has two Oscar-winning distributors interested in the project so it looks serious. The pre-release website is at http://www.einsteinwrong.com
Roger, Galion, Ohio, USA
Einstein is in fact wrong and there is a documentary film coming out next year on the subject that is getting some buzz in Los Angeles. It turns out that no one wants to be the first to say he is wrong in fear of loosing their job, funding, or reputation. But relativity isn't really used according the filmmaker including in GPS.
Roger McWilliams, Galion, USA
I feel I must defend you Jeremy on your assertion that Hubble is a Nikon. Yes, the images are more sophisticated than anything taken this side of the earth's atmosphere, but in the end they are only pictires and tantalysing data. But if you had the choice of going to Australia or seeing clear images of Sydney Harbour Bridge on your laptop, which would you go for? Like many back in 1969, I had expected us to have reached Mars by now, not just taken a few more photographs. Maybe I don't favour a bloody war to achieve the objectives, but you have a point. Space is out there and we have to go. If the earth was due to end tommorrow, however, and we needed to get off quickly, people would still be arguing over who was going to pay for it.
Roy, Trowbridge, Wiltshire
Creating time and energy to further advance technology comes by a new level of inspiration, not war.
The mission to mars and the next mision to the moon should include the task of constructing a tent the shape of a house, as unscientific this may initially sound this would create unstoppable momentum through inspiartion, not war .
I am sure the moon would have been collonised in 15 years instead of in 40 years if they done this on the first mission to the moon.
Is it really the case huge additional finance is required?
Why not make minor modifiactions to the space shuttles and send it on a trajectory to the moon, drop payloads for manned based construction and come back and repeat journey as required.
A competion to grow plant seeds in a self contained chambers on the moon. The prize..inspiration and unstoppable momentum for progress.
Psycholigical problems of 1.5 year journeys to mars in small space has been solved- virtual reality head set simulating opennes.
Sidharath Mahay, Handsworth Wood, UK
Jeremy, Jeremy, are you so scathing of the laws of physics when you are gunning down the motorway at 195mph? No doubt there are improvements to be had, with or without a war to fuel them, but faster than light we are never going to see.
Rosemary Roberts, Germany,
I think Jeremy will find that the solid rocket boosters of the space shuttle are powered by a compound of aluminium and rubber. All that smoke at take off is not just water vapour. It must stink really badly! However, who cares, the thing is beautiful.
Christopher, Athens, Greece
Well Clarkson, I couldnât fault your logic as to how weâve been able to get as far into space as we have â always a bad sign! However, I thought you might be interested in understanding the âbigâ why behind our halted bid to explore further the wonder that is space.
Over many millennia, humankind has evolved, from a creature with the barest of rudimentary intelligence to the great intellects of the present day; on Earth we have attained a grand old age. However, in celestial terms, Iâd guess weâve just about celebrated our seventh birthday (some are still well and truly stuck in the terrible twoâs; weâve finally reached the age when we begin to reason â halle-@?##%!-lujah! That said, I think weâll be here for some timeâ¦
So no, I personally do not think it a good idea to let loose on the Universe a mass of seven-year olds with power to reek absolute chaos in the worlds beyond â letâs get our own world in order first, eh chaps?
Pat Fletcher, Nottingham,
Well done Jeremy, wahat a superb article and so true as well.
It had me in stitches without having to queue for hours in A&E !
Good Man !!
Peter, Coventry,
If the result of spending countless of "Brazilians" of dollars would be to see Jeremy Clarkson on a beach in space, I'm quite happy with the status quo.
Flemming, Cairns, Australia
Well written story refreshing our memory on man and the space. And the competition betwenn the two superpowers.
Robert Opala, Kirkby,
It does not take another cold war to create new propulsion systems. Why just ecently photonic propulsion (yes using light to propel ones self forwards) has produced a prototype device with current missions capability and it wil scale. 100 Km/s or less than a week to Mars is apparantly a very real possibility.
So why do we need Mr Clarksons right wing paranoia when the future is looking ok thank you very much.
Oh an by the way Jeremty climate change is very real and petrol going to become a very real problem soon enough.
Pete Best, Northampton, UK
Jeremy!!!!! Agree with Robbie of Manchester. PC is not my strongest forte & do not intend for it to be so!!!! Rather bored with it all.............apart from wicked patriots, who endeavour to reach the true patriots who say it like it is!!!! Love yer!!!
Jane F, Hertfordshire,
This article is excellent. Preach brother Clarkson preach!!
John, Nottingham, England
"somewhere out there is another Jeremy Clarkson lying on a tropical beach on a planet exactly like Earth" ... as much as we all love him, surely one is enough !
Nick, St Ouen, France
Bloody Hell, A brilliant read and stirs the imagination as well. Bravo Jeremy. How can we Canadians help ?......perhaps by starting some vicious rumours in order to assist the Eagle and the Bear in a little one on one again..........let us know Jeremy. Nothing to strenuous, perhaps something involving doughnuts and coffee and throw in a canoe or two.
Bob, Edmonton, Alberta
Clarkson talks more sense than every politician on the planet.
If he were Prime Minister we would get things done. No more red tape, no more health and safety, but just a man that has a vision and follows it without stalling for time with humour.
CLARKSON FOR PM!!!!!! :-)
Robbie, Manchester, UK
Generally agree with Clarkson's sentiment, except for one point. Hubble is not merely a "Nikon" - it provides exceptional scientific and astonomical data and the chance to view distant galxies, stars and regions in Space not possible from this side of the Earths atmosphere. As well as this, the sheer beauty of the images it gathers provide glorious, colourful and abstract views of the Universe that can be appreciated by any man, women or child on Earth. As Clarskon ponts out, there's little activty in regard to space travel, therefore not a great deal for us to look at, without Hubble there would be considerably less. Here's to the Future.
Ryan Blackman, London, UK
Brilliant!!!!
Alex, London,