COUNT them carefully. You have 33 friends now, yet within a few years you will have lost touch with all but a handful. They won’t even send you a Christmas card.

Whether they are pals, mates, chums or buddies, you will go through 396 friends in a lifetime but will have only 33 at any one time, says a study.

Death, rows and disinclination all chip away at the coterie of companions surrounding you now, and it is only a matter of time before 363 — 11 out of 12 — are lost to you. Of the 33 people counted as friends for now, only six at most can be described as close friends in whom you can confide and trust to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on.

Best friends, according to the study of 10,000 people, are not even the ones that you see most of — you see them just once every eight weeks — but they are the ones thought of more often than any other.

The remainder of the 33 are merely for social occasions and are made up of workmates past and present, old school friends, drinking cronies and the occasional neighbour.

A gender difference is identified in a report, Anatomy of Modern Friendship, with women seeing social friends every 3.5 days on average, whereas men managing it once every five days.

Women appear to be more particular about who they are prepared to count as a friend. Men claimed to have 25 per cent more companions but see much less of them.

The most dangerous age for groups of friends is the 30s. Until they turn 30, people tend to live in the area where they have all grown up together. But at this point they move, said the study, by the web business MSN Messenger.

Getting married, moving away for a new job and, perhaps most crucially, having children and deciding to spend time with them rather than socialising all put strains on friendships.

The research identified four categories of friendship.

Cultivators, to whom friends mean a lot, are the most likely to nurture friendships and ensure frequent meetings.

Pruners have a tendency towards making friends quickly and dropping them just as fast. They like to be seen in the “in crowd” and are ruthless with those they see as dead wood, even deleting their names from diaries.

Harvesters have a hardcore circle of friends despite spending long periods making no attempt to meet or even speak with them. Christmas cards can be the only form of contact for a year or more.

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