Download 'Too Hot', an exclusive Specials track from iTunes
He said that, after the breakdown of their relationship, his ex-wife moved house with their children without his knowledge.
“We’d been married for ten years and lived in Suffolk,” John said. “She moved to Essex to be near her family — it was hard because they were now living around 80 miles away.
“We’d agreed that I’d have the children every other weekend and one evening in the week, but she didn’t stick to it. The children would be late or not there; it was like she was trying to punish me.
“The situation deteriorated when she moved away. She would say that they were doing something else on weekends when I was supposed to see them. Then I got a letter saying that the children didn’t want to visit.
“We went to court and access was granted but soon after that she started disobeying the order. Sometimes she would say the children were unwell. Every time they came they had notes with them saying I’d given them the wrong food last time or that they hadn’t been comfortable.
“Contact eventually stopped altogether and I went back to court in 2000 to get it reinforced. They said my daughter, 11, was old enough to make her own decisions and I haven’t seen her since.
“I took my son on holiday in 2001 and saw him some weekends, but then I was told he didn’t want to visit any more.
“I went to court a couple of months ago and the judge said that my ex had broken three court orders, that my son should be known by my surname and that his school should be allowed to give me information.
“My parents haven’t seen them for years either and it’s very upsetting for them. I just hope my children will want to contact me when they grow up.”
Six hours in 2½ years
JASON, a 28-year-old decorator from Gloucestershire, was married for five years and has a son, 5, and daughter, 3.
“When we split she moved to her parents with the children,” he said. “I kept asking for access. She would say yes but then wouldn’t answer the door when I turned up. One time she called the police and accused me of harassment.
“Another time she let me see my son, I picked him up from her house and she then called the police and said I’d kidnapped him.
“In the 2½ years since we split, I’ve seen them for six hours at a contact centre.
“I went to court shortly after we separated to get access, but the process takes so long that my hearing isn’t until next week. It’s taken more than two years to get that far.
“I had a copy of a report, Making Access Work, from Margaret Hodge. I wrote back saying, ‘That’s fine if you’ve got contact but I haven’t’. ”
Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the power of collective thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Media Hub Home Entertainment System
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
per month on 36-month
Personal Contract Hire (PCH)
2008
42850
Car Insurance
£24,250 - £30,346
MI5
London
£60,000
The Environment Agency
Bristol
Up to £90K
Boots
Midlands
OTE £85k
Credit Protection Association
Nationwide Opportunities
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Fabulous Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers Including Virgin Atlantic Flights Prices Start From Only £699pp!
Last Minute Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers. Med From £499pp, Caribbean From £699pp!
5 star quality at a 3 star price.
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.