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Lord Falconer, the Lord Chancellor, appeared determined to upstage the consummate self-publicist’s first public outing since his release from jail two months ago by declaring that convicted criminals will be thrown out of the House of Lords.
Lord Archer of Westonsuper-Mare, the convicted perjurer, tried desperately not to give off the air of a man who must face the ignominy of reverting to plain old Mr Archer when he strode into the Randolph Hotel in Oxford. Archer, 63, responded to his press inquisitors bearing the bad news with the stubborn silence that he has perfected.
The former deputy chairman of the Conservative Party had every reason to feel sore that the Government had sabotaged his big day, particularly when he was giving an unpaid speech on prison reform that conspicuously failed to criticise the Home Secretary or settle any of his numerous scores.
But he was determined not to show any dismay at the impending loss of his title and seat on the red benches.
When the multi-millionaire novelist finally opened his mouth before an audience of 50 delegates at the Howard League for Penal Reform conference, he contrived to ignore the one man who stood up and asked for his reaction to banishment from the Lords.
But perhaps Archer was endeavouring to adapt to his imminent slide in status. He tried to be humble in a way that is hard for a man who knows his audience have paid £130 each to listen to him.
Wearing a yellow tie that stretched well below his belt, a fit and tanned Archer apologised to prison reform experts for outlining reforms that may be “common parlance” for them.
He repeatedly thanked the Howard League for inviting him. He lowered his voice spectacularly to talk about suicide in prison and even admitted that his view of drugs had been “naive” before he entered prison.
He proudly told how he helped a prisoner who had tried his hand at poetry.
“You’ve got a first-class brain,” he told the prisoner. “He is now doing a degree in English. Sometimes all they need is a little help.”
He added: “I believe I have identified a weakness in the system that could be dealt with overnight,” he said portentously, proposing that prisoners who chose educational courses should be paid as much as those who “peel potatoes” — leading to the return of more inmates to society “with their minds, rather than just their muscles, expanded”.
The only flash of anger came when discussing, rather aptly, how “lifers” could be a “blimming nuisance”. Archer probably assumed he could be a nuisance for life in the House of Lords.
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