We were seated at the left-hand side of the north transept of Westminster Abbey, about nine rows back, between the statues of Disraeli and Gladstone. Until the coffin was brought in, we were facing the Royal Family, who were seated at the front of the south transept. On top of the coffin stood the bouquets of white flowers; on our side, one could see that the largest of the bouquets had a single red flower, either a rose or a carnation, placed like a signature.

I always think of William Shakespeare when I am in Westminster Abbey; his plays lie at the core of Britain's historic memory; the abbey is its architectural expression. In the smaller London of his time, he must often have visited the abbey. I remember telling the Princess some details of her family's connection with Shakespeare, though I was not sure that she was particularly interested by what I was saying. Shakespeare first worked with a theatre company which until 1594 was known as Lord Strange's Company and thereafter as the Lord Chamberlain's Company. In the later Elizabethan time there were two literary Spencer daughters from Althorp; Alice married Ferdinando Stanley, Lord Strange, and Elizabeth married George Carey, who was subsequently the Lord Chamberlain. I imagine it was Alice Spencer who arranged that her company be taken over by her sister and her husband after Ferdinando died. At any rate, these two Spencer sisters were central as patrons of the Elizabethan theatre of the 1590s, the first great Shakespearean decade.

The funeral was itself a Shakespearean occasion: it was tragic, deeply moving and historic. There is no comparable occasion in British history; in this century there has never been such intensity of public grief. It is not quite true to say that there was no dry eye in Westminster Abbey; some of us can only cry at superficial moments of sentiment: I cry every time I see the closing scene of Casablanca , but not when I am really moved. I was almost stunned, and came out of the abbey hardly able to think coherently.

Every part of the service had been moving: John Tavener's mystical music as the cortege left the abbey; the sound of the soldiers' footsteps as they brought in the coffin; the Air from County Derry and the glorious Welshness of Cwm Rhondda , the readings by Diana's two sisters - Lady Jane Fellowes had an incredible similarity of voice to Diana, so that as girls they were often mistaken for each other on the telephone.

Sir Georg Solti had been planning to conduct Verdi's Requiem at the Promenade Concert in two weeks' time. Perhaps that was why the performance of the Libera me from the Requiem was suggested for the abbey. Solti's death was the third loss of a world figure, along with Mother Teresa's. Lynne Dawson sang the soprano part beautifully, her voice soaring above the BBC Singers.

Yet I wondered about the choice. This funeral was not based on any particular liturgy; it was designed for an audience of various religious beliefs, and none. The lines "Rest eternal grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them" made a state ment the whole congregation could assent to, but not so "You will come to judge the world by fire. I tremble in awe of the judgment and the coming wrath". There is a modern tendency to confuse the aesthetic and the religious. No doubt some orthodox Christians, particularly among Roman Catholics, do believe in the wrath of God in that sense, but the congregation on Saturday did not.

To judge by the crowd reaction which filtered in from outside, and from the reaction in the abbey itself, the three central statements were those of the Earl Spencer, Elton John and St Paul, in that order. It is an order which, for me, was reversed. The Prime Minister's reading from St Paul was the central matter, particularly appropriate to the Princess. He read it as someone who believed what he was saying. "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." Diana believed that. When she said she was not a politician but a humanitarian, she was telling the simple truth.

The reason her life is so challenging to everyone, not just to the Royal Family, is that she lived by what St Paul said: "Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away." She was not all that good on knowledge and may even have been a bit gullible about prophecies, but she shared St Paul's spiritual certainty that "the greatest of these is love".

To the two billion people who watched the funeral on television, her life is a challenge in St Paul's terms. Compared with either Diana or Mother Teresa, most of us cannot meet that challenge. In giving love, Diana was also seeking it. For her the giving was not effortless; when she came back from occasions of compassion, she was often exhausted.

I did like Elton John's singing, and felt admiration for the courage he showed in undertaking it. He brings out, as the song did in its original form, the pain and vulnerability of the public charismatic life. Everyone who knew the Princess felt her vulnerability: "It seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind." The metaphor rings true.

There was very much about the Earl Spencer's address which was absolutely right. He spoke of his sister with insight; he observed that it was her suffering, going back to childhood, which gave her understanding of the suffering of others. He had shared the suffering of her childhood. His anger against the paparazzi and the intrusive press is justified. I thought that he was too sharp in his comments on the Royal Family. They too are suffering, and one should not underrate that.

In practical terms, he has made it less likely that he will have the influence he seeks on the upbringing of his two nephews; it was not in their interest to widen the rift between himself and the Royal Family. Yet his address was poignant and loving, and it had its own truth.

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