A Darth song to play for the King

Is this a new fakery scandal involving the media rearing its head? On Monday, Channel 4 News reported the state visit of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. As he met the Queen, it appeared that the band of the Welsh Guards played The Imperial March from the movie The Empire Strikes Back. A touch rude this, what with it famously being the signature tune of Darth Vader. “Before, they played light music, one of which was the theme from Star Wars,” confirmed a spokesman for the Army’s London district. “But as soon as [King Abdullah] stepped out of the vehicle then the Saudi Arabian national anthem was played.”

Channel 4 tell us that their editing was only intended as light-hearted comment, and that no mention of the music was made in the script. So that’s all fine. Isn’t it?

Rwanda. Doesn’t it just attract all the heavyweights? Perhaps taking a leaf out of David Cameron’s book, Paris Hilton has let it be known that she is planning a trip to the country. Alas! This week, the Playing for Good Foundation, which was due to be shipping her over, pulled out, due to “internal restructuring”. (Of it. Not of her).

Now the Aegis Trust (a body in the UK that campaigns to prevent genocide) has stepped in. The trip, said a spokesman, “would be an inspiring beginning for Ms Hilton to leave her mark on the world”.

Regular readers will, of course, be aware that this story is in breach of our unofficial motto (“no chefs, no milliners, no Paris Hilton”) but we felt that the added gravitas of Rwanda made it OK. No?

Spotted, deep in suburban southwest London: Vince Cable, the acting leader of the Liberal Democrats. Quite alone and looking rather lost, Dr Cable was speaking anxiously into his mobile phone. “Hello?” he said. “I’m at Barnes station. Wasn’t the plan for somebody to meet me here?” Is he still there? Is he hungry?

Some disquiet in the House of Lords, we hear, over Lord Falconer of Thoroton’s looming battle with Gordon Brown over his pension. In part, their lordships worry that they have had a bad press recently and feel that the former Lord Chancellor isn’t helping. There is also concern that, if he were such a top lawyer, he ought to have seen this coming.

Bono is interviewed in the new issue of Rolling Stone. Middle Earth’s answer to The Fonz says that he is not afraid of speaking his mind to world leaders. He advised Bill Clinton not to grant visas to Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness, and scolded Tony Blair for invading Iraq only because he was afraid of looking weak. All of which makes you wonder why he still hasn’t said anything to Nelson Mandela about those shirts.

Sending 25th birthday wishes to Channel 4’s Countdown, Gordon Brown has a rare moment of levity, wishing the presenter Carol Vordeman “could have helped on some of my budgets when I was Chancellor – I might have got the sums right more often!” It doesn’t last. He’s soon listing the dead. “The late, great Richard Whiteley . . . the guests of Dictionary Corner, Kenneth Williams, Brian Johnson, Derek Nimmo, Ned Sherrin . . .”

Fabulous to hear, via a press release, that the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall are to attend the ceremonial opening of the new Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs exhibition at The O2 on November 13. Clearly there are jokes to be made here about having a chance to see some fine old royal relics, but you can probably figure them out for yourself. We sense there is also one based on the word “mummy”, but to be honest we’re struggling with it.

Postscript

— When Charlie Watts, the Rolling Stones drummer, moved to the village of Dolton, North Devon, 15 years ago, it seemed as though he had found the peace and quiet away from the fans that he craved. Times must have changed. A notice on the gates of Halsdon House, his 17th-century mansion, has been put up, reading: “Beware!!! Guard dogs (Rotweilers) roam loose between 9pm and 7am”. How sad – fancy not being able to spell rottweiler.

— To Kenya where, the New York Post reports, shocked customs officials stopped a man carrying two enormous, bloodied, African elephant tusks. His explanation that he was taking them into Amboseli National Park served only to confuse the situation. How long, we wonder, did the film producer Lorne Thyssen have to spend explaining to them that the tusks are fibreglass props for the antihunting scenes in the Brit flick The Garden of Eden.

— “When you go on a reading tour,” Nick Hornby, the novelist, tells the American website Radar, “you are exposed to the same bits of writing again and again for a month, so by the end of it you think, ‘Jesus, what was I thinking of?’” Surely, that’s a thought to have while writing?

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