Still first with Today’s news

Sometimes it can be annoying, writing a diary. You get a hot scoop, such as “Evan Davis, the BBC economics editor, is to become a full-time presenter on the Radio 4 Today programme”. You think: “Well, that’s the page sorted,” and you feel rather pleased. And then, half an hour later, the BBC sends out a press release. Damn it.

Still, we thought we’d do it anyway, not that we’re sulking. So, Evan Davis, currently the BBC economics editor, is to become a full-time presenter on the Today programme. Oh? You’d heard? Davis will be replacing Carolyn Quinn, who is leaving to present Westminster Hour. Remember, you heard it here first. Or, at least, we did.

Believe your eyes. Above we have Paris Hilton, actually eating. The US heiress was in Shanghai, and is here seen tucking into Chinese xiaolongbao dumplings. In later pictures, there is less food. Seriously. We checked.

Yesterday, we are told, Amy Winehouse and Arctic Monkeys were to be found in a studio in King’s Cross, shooting the cover for the Christmas issue of NME. Each Monkey was apparently dressed as an evil elf, and Winehouse (dress unspecified) was tying them all up, so as to save Christmas. Just so you know.

With two statements to the House of Commons in as many days, Alistair Darling, our Chancellor, is suffering a rare run of bad luck. He has some way to go, however, to beat the record. In 1982, Willie Whitelaw (then Home Secretary) made four statements to the House in as many days: over an intruder in the Queen’s bedroom, IRA bombs in London, a royal chauffeur sex scandal, and the admission that the first of these was not, as it turned out, a criminal offence. He didn’t resign, either.

Obituary writers have been recalling how Ian Smith, the Prime Minister of Rhodesia, was not invited to lunch with the Queen after Churchill’s funeral. Not so, says our Foreign Office mole. At the time, diplomats felt that Smith’s people had lost the invitation deliberately in order to cause a scene. His absence noted, Smith was eventually fetched to the Palace, late. “I haven’t had my lunch,” he told the Queen. “No,” replied Her Majesty, “and neither has General de Gaulle. Have you met?”

Perhaps, after the massive breach of security that has led to a third of the country being exposed to potential identity fraud, HM Revenue & Customs could support some sort of National Identity Fraud Week to educate us on how best to protect our personal details. Oh, hold on. Silly us. They already have. It ran from October 8 to October 14. The discs went missing on October 18. Maybe next year they should make it a fortnight. (www.stop-idfraud.co.uk)

Postscript

— He caused controversy with his ITV drama See No Evil: The Moors Murderers, but the award-winning writer Neil McKay will probably be on safer ground with his next choice of subject. According to The Stage newspaper, McKay is writing the provisionally titled Mo Mowlam, which focuses on the popular Labour MP’s time as Northern Ireland Secretary. No casting yet, but McKay says that he has “a number of ideas”.

— Jeremy Clarkson is the most famous man in the world, says his friend A. A. Gill, writer of this parish. “It is impossible for us to find a place where he is not mobbed by people shouting, ‘Volvo, Volvo, Volvo’.” But both were slightly alarmed while visiting Lenin’s tomb, when an armed guard ran towards them. “He said, ‘Do you mind if I take a picture?’,” recalls Gill. “Now that’s fame.”

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