Philippe Naughton
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The woman who warns more than a billion London commuters a year to "mind the gap" has been sacked by Tube bosses after posting a series of spoof announcements on her website.
The spoofs by Emma Clarke, one of the country's most successful voiceover artists, included a reminder to "our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly" and an appeal to the passenger in the red shirt to stop "staring at that woman's chest".
But Transport for London decided that it was the end of the line after Ms Clarke, a 36-year-old mother of two who is trying to build a career in comedy, told a newspaper that she never used the Tube any more because it was "dreadful".
A TfL spokeswoman said: "Some of the spoof announcements are very funny, but Emma is a bit silly to go round slagging off her client's services. London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Ms Clarke are experiencing severe delays."
But the voiceover specialist, who used to live in Highgate, North London, but now lives in Cheshire, told Times Online that she had been misunderstood - and nobody at Transport for London had been in touch.
"I know what they've said but as far as I'm concerned, I never slagged them off," she said. "What I said was how dreadful it was to always hear my voice on Tube trains. That was my point - not that the Tube was dreadful or that the transport provision was terrible.
"It's an uncomfortable experience when I phone a company and I hear myself answering or when the radio alarm kicks in and I'm talking on an advert."
She added: "The spoof announcements are on the fun section of my website. It's plain that they're just a bit of fun, the ones we'd all like to hear if we could."
Some of the announcements you will never hear for real:
“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.”
“Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman’s chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.”
“Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers.”
“Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage ... If you’re female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He’s probably not had sex for months.”
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WHY are people so uptight about this whole thing? being on the tube with people who pretend you're not there is boring enough. why not have some light humor?
Louise: 'other people and their habits'? when has being a pervert been a habit?
I would happily pay for her comments all the time!
Carmen, London, UK
I am a man who lives in lovely Warwickshire but who works in London and has to endure travel on the underground. It is quite right that this lady should be sacked. It is obvious that anyone who thinks that any woman in a tube train has a chest worth looking at has poor judgement.
John, Kenilworth,
Gets my vote for the sense of humor bypass of the month award.
Olly, Canterbury,
Like eberything else this is a bit of fun and has been made to look something different lets not kid ourselves that the tube network is something special it is not !!
Ian Rogers, Birkenhead, uk
I do not think you need her, just a created job. A sign to watch your step, should be enough. Adults are not stupid enough to have to be told to be careful, like children. I'm from the U.S. and had a great time in London, the Tube is a little loud with the people and all, sometimes we need to talk louder in case a danger exist...........
S. Guza, Romeo, Michigan U.S.
She can surely claim money under the whistleblower's act.
The tube is a cesspit, and she leaked this, (like we need official proof,) and they've sacked her.
Shocking! Cover up! The truth will out.
Cary, Essex.,
Poor lass - but it is no longer acceptable to upset anyone else in any way at all, or else their human rights are abused. What a mess we are in ... thanks Bliar & Brown
Jeremy Poynton, Fromeville, 51st State
That's awful and she is not sending herself up, she is laughing at other people and their habits. "A bit of fun", yes, but in private, not public.
Louise Stanley, Reading, UK
Hahaha, I was on her site literally last night and took a listen to all of her spoof clips - I was very impressed (and quite amused!) She has some genuine talent and if TfL think they're doing the clever thing, they've had a bit of a sense of humour malfunction.
That said, their "further contracts for Ms Clarke are experiencing severe delays" quip made me laugh out loud :D
I only hope she gets her spoof announcements online again soon! I'm sure she'll get far more work after this little storm in a teacup has blown over than she had beforehand.
Christopher, Birmingham, United Kingdom
This is an indictment of the press, isn't it? A wry story about a woman who has lost work due to another wry story which misquoted her! The original story wasn't in The Times, was it?!
Nick, Brighton,
sad, sad, sad, tube bosses should spend their energy on improving the service - maybe its not funny being at the top.
If the jokes hurt sTHAT much then must be a grain of truth - so really the bosses are admitting the tube IS dreadful.
louis della-porta, skipton, north yorkshire
I listened to several of the spoof announcements on her website and thought they were unfunny, offensive and vulgar. If she wants to be a comedienne, fine. But she needs a decent script-writer. Don't give up the day job just yet.
MarkS, Leeds,
The tube is dreadfull. If you have used a metro in say Japan or Germany you will see the London Underground while the first of it's kind, is now 2nd rate.
roger, london,
Oh deary, deary me.How joyless some people are.I am growing to despise some aspects of living in this country.To those who are grumpy in the Tubey train business, cheer up you miserable sods and smile occasionally.It may make your dreary existences more bearable.It works for me and countless others.Good Lord............
Steffan, Meltford, Suffolk
Finally something to come out of the tube other than a completely miserable and grumpy passenger who's been conned out of another fiver for having to sit in a smelly, sweaty late train...and it is penalised. honestly tfl get your act together and put some effort into making our journey's more pleasant rather than shooting yourself in the foot by being made to look like a disillusioned and underachieving headmaster scolding a naughty pupil.
James, Finchley, London
oh dear it's only a bit of fun...
typical management can't take a joke..bit like the
underground service bit of a joke!!
tim e, gravesend, kent
Hilarious! If only we actually did hear announcements like that every day!
Can I volunteer to be the next tube announcer person? Would be the best job ever!
Bev, London, UK