Fran Yeoman
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It's Monday. The weather's hideous. Everyone you passed on the way to work this morning looked like they were under a cloud, metaphorically as well as literally. Is there any silver lining on this most grimly British-in-a-bad-way of days? It wasn't easy, but Times Online has shaken off the malaise to suggest 10 things that might alleviate the gloom. Cheer up! It might never happen!
1. Warm your heart with the knowledge that thousands of toads around the country will at last be enjoying a little romance. Lovestruck amphibians have been getting increasingly frustrated since waking from hibernation a few weeks ago, because the dry weather has prevented them from hopping over to their mating ponds. Not any more. The rain might be depressing for you, but it is the toad equivalent of someone putting on a Barry White CD.
2. Remember that the rain is also good for gardeners, and everyone wants Alan Titchmarsh to be happy, don't they? Don't they?
3. While watching the rolling news channels, try chuckling to yourself from the comfort of a toasty warm office at the blue noses, disastrous hair and funny hats sported by unfortunate presenters who have been despatched to random bits of coastline around the country so that they can sagely inform the Great British Public that it is, in fact, windy.
4. Guffawing over, gather a group of equally workshy colleagues around the TV screen for a game of 'Storm Coverage Bingo'. Make little cards for yourselves with phrases like 'travel chaos' and 'fallen tree' on them, and see who gets a full house first. It should take about five minutes because, to be honest, not that much happens during a British storm. See also 'Earthquake Coverage Bingo' from a fortnight ago.
5. Remember that an early Easter, with all of its chocolatey goodness, is nearly upon us. Just a fortnight from today, Easter Sunday will be a memory and the supermarkets will be piled high with discounted egg-shaped Dairy Milk. And since the weather's so rubbish and summer still so far away, we can stuff our faces safe in the knowledge that there will be no need to bare any wobbly flesh for a good while yet.
6. Reflect on a topsy-turvy weekend of sport. Wales and Scotland won in the Six Nations, while England's rugby and cricket teams lost. Chelsea and Manchester United were unceremoniously dumped out of the FA Cup. Admittedly none of this is ideal if you come from west London, but for most of the UK (and let's face it, the bulk of United fans are from west London too) the back pages of today's newspapers have got to be more entertaining than the gloom-filled front.
7. Alternatively, for those of you that thought the BBC had again transformed itself into a dedicated sports network over the last two days (and not in a good way), breathe a sigh of relief that next weekend sees the end of the Six Nations and there are only three games left in the FA Cup. Try to forget that the Olympics are on their way in less than six months.
8. Yes, we know, aeroplanes are bad for the environment. But if spring/ summer in Blighty continues like this, escaping from the deluge will be critical to the national mood. Luckily, a clutch of blockbuster sequels, including Narnia (Prince Caspian) and Batman (the Dark Knight) will provide an eco-friendly alternative to picnicking in the rain. Spend today debating whether the forthcoming Indiana Jones film will be brilliant or a load of old cobblers and you'll barely notice the weather.
9. Bear in mind that there are only 289 shopping days until Christmas.
Only joking. Please don't write in and complain. That's probably not even accurate.
10. If none of this works, you are probably a lost cause. Feign illness, head home and hide under a duvet until tomorrow. Alternatively, you could always sing along with the Boomtown Rats...
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"Reflect on a topsy-turvy weekend of sport. Wales and Scotland won in the Six Nations while England's rugby and cricket teams lost."
Topsy turvy? I know you're a London based paper and utterly Anglocentric of course, but Wales have won every damned match they've played so far in the 6 Nations and it's not exactly unusual for an England cricket team to lose is it? More of a hallowed tradition really. Hardly topsy turvy though. Keep up Fran, keep up.
Rich Brighton
Rich, Brighton, UK
hehehe works for me !!!!
Sadly I also have to work in the night.
life...........
Saad Ali Khan, london, U.K.