Rosemary Bennett, Social Affairs Correspondent
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Children such as Shannon Matthews who have suffered a traumatic event can easily fool their parents into thinking that they are coping well or have got over it quickly.
But experts said yesterday that it is precisely this that can store up problems for the future, and a talking therapy for the victim and her family is usually recommended.
Melanie Gill, a child forensic psychologist, said children frequently downplay their experience in the hope that things get “back to normal”.
Keenly sensitive to their own family’s anxiety, they also often seek to protect their parents from what they have been through.
“The family in this situation will also be deeply traumatised by what has happened, and not surprisingly will probably never want to let her out of the house again.
“Children have a very strong urge in these situations to make things better, but the most damaging thing they can do is to hide their own feelings,” she told The Times.
“The goal should be to make this a horrible memory that she can look back on later as an awful thing that happened when she was young. What you don’t want is for her memories to be buried which then leak out later when something prompts them. That is what post-traumatic stress is.”
Talking therapies are the most common techniques used to treat trauma. Children may also need to have their experience put into context.
Experts say Shannon will also have to be helped to deal with her friends and schoolmates.
Children are often eager to start back at school as soon as possible and see their friends as usual. However, it is often difficult for them to know how much to divulge about what they have been through.
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One of the two girls who went missing on the south coast in 1999 said that the therapy made the whole experience of abduction far worse, since she was forced to relive the awfulness of it repeatedly.
Arnold Ward, Weybridge, Surrey, UK.