To all the women who have said the fathers should not stay with their child, how selfish, it's not all about you!! To all the fathers who say yuck.. I wanted a drink.. this is your child too!! And to the people who say there is no room to have fathers stay, read what Richard is saying.. let's make the facilities to provide this!! Child birth is for fathers aswell, they were there when it all started in the first place.. let them be there so see there efforts!!

Nicola, Lincoln,

A Midwife's viewpoint: Antenatal classes are widely advertised as Parentcraft classes, hardly exclusive to fathers.
As for dads staying in overnight in hospital. Lovely idea, but let's get real. This is the NHS. Space is limited (so much so that i breathe a hefty sigh of relief if i can give the mother a bed and the baby a cot; in the majority of ward areas there is simply no space to accommodate men as well). Secondly: Security. Who's who? Who are they with? Who's that man walking down the corridor in the middle of the night carrying that baby? Do i have time to keep track? As the only midwife on a ward, what do you think?
Lastly,the needs of ALL the women for privacy, (picture a woman getting up to the toilet, in the dark, wearing only a nightie, bumping into a 'strange' man. Or breast-feeding, or wanting to discuss stitches/bleeding/other intimate matters, with a bloke sitting in the next bed), and sleep (all the men are going to sit quietly and not speak all night eh?)

S.E.L, Hampshire,

Why should the *baby* stay with the mother when she's trying to sleep, let alone the father? I was taken off to the nursery area on the night I was born so my poor, exhausted mother could get some rest and believe it or not I incured no psychological damage from not sleeping by her side (and screaming as well) through that first night. She, on the other hand, got some well-deserved rest while the nurses looked after me until morning. Let the woman sleep after all that hard work!

Katherine, Richmond, UK

Yuck...! Oh, come on...! - (PSSST...!) - it's gotta be fairly common knowledge that 8 out of every 10 men would rather be anywhere but close to the birth of a child - even their own. Never mind in the same room...!

Even those who say they want to, are only giving way to the social pressure and making it seem they do - because they're made to feel it's their duty...!!! Personally, I find the whole messy process of birth a disgusting spectacle, far better handled by women. Men have no place in the delivery theatre - not even the hospital. I know I wouldn't want to be there, and no amount of social blackmail could ever make me pretend otherwise....!

John Jay, Walton on Thames, UK

When my daughter was born at West Middlesex Hospital in London in 2006, I had to beg, argue and finally just demand that they let me stay in the room the first night with my wife and daughter. In the end I said they would need to drag me out, kicking and screaming. I was then "allowed" to stay.
It was possible to do this because after delivery by emergency Caesarean my wife was in a private room, and I didn't affect any of the other patients.
Within the next week we will return to the same hospital for the birth of our son, and I hope things will have changed, and that it will not be necessary for me to "fight the power" again.
Other countries, like Denmark, are able to offer rooms for both parents, so why not in England? Last time I resented having to pay more than £50 in parking around the delivery, but I would happily have paid twice that for the privilege of sharing a room for the first night. Isn’t the NHS missing a great earning possibility?

Jakob, London, England

Things have changed a bit! When my son,who is now 35, was born at Harold Wood hospital Essex, dispite a prearranged plan that I would be "allowed" to stay with her during the birth, was told in the early hours of the morning,to leave! This was against my wifes wishes,and of course mine.However never being one to "comply" I stayed. First a somewhat "worse for wear" porter tied to remove me, followed by a doctor,who was advised that only three things would see me leave, 1. A medical need 2. My wife's request 3. Physical removal,with a promise of legal action on my part! This was then the signal for the police to be called,my wife, who by now was in the process of delivery repeatedly asked for them to "allow" me to stay and to, please leave the room (yes the police were in the delivery room). I stood my ground and stayed and would say to any man that it's the place to be when your child is born. Please don't listen to the "it's horrendous" brigade. It's special, very special!

Colin Cuddehay, Cebu, Philippines

Where is the mothers' point of view in all this? What about all those women who are grateful to spend some time just among women after this physically mindblowing experience? As a nightshift midwife I know the secrets women harbour and will only tell when partners are a long way away. Not all men are just kind and caring,but merely controlling. Their women would of course not dare to object to their staying in their presence.

Also would your wife be happy to walk around other men with blood running down her legs and her breasts being the constant focus of attention?
If men need a rite of passage- go and invent your own. Let's invest in better support for women rather than rebuild wards to accomodate men.

Monique, Stroud, UK

wha-a-a-a-at?! is this just some crazy idea so that mums (especially first timers) will stop complaining about getting absolutely no help at all once their baby has arrived?! my hospital had a policy of allowing a named carer (not necessarily dads) with mums from 7am til 7pm, which was good enough for me.

bushra, bradford, uk

Allowing Dad's to stay the night sounds a bit impractical considering the lack of space. However allowing them to at least go to the ward and settle the mother and baby in would be a relief to all parties.
At the Walsgrave Hospital in Coventry, if a baby is born in the night the father is not even allowed to enter the ward afterwards. This factor alone has caused more distress amongst people I know who have had to go through this cruel treatment than any of the other problems of our overcrowded maternity wards.

Naomi, Coventry,

the second night after my wife had a C-sec for twins, she was told not to expect any help from the midwifes during the night feeds as there were not going to be enough on duty. We booked a private room at UCH and I sneaked in (against the rules) to sleep on the floor - like Tony Brown from Bath its my heavy taxes that pay for the maternity ward but I had to pay 170 pounds more for the right to sleep on the floor. How else can someone who was cut open 2 days before feed twins for the first time - how could she be expected to without my help?

Bob Jackson, London,

I wanted to stay with my wife and new baby after his birth but was told by the nurses on the ward that I "was not covered by Insurance - Health and Safety etc".

Mind you I had to come back to the ward fairly quickly afterwards to take my wife and baby home as it was such a hell-hole with 48 women and babies being looked after by just 2 nurses.

Bry Barnes, Somerset, Uk

I'm with Richard Ben on this. While I understand space is precious, surely common sense should prevail where the facilities are already there - having the father around should be seen as a good thing, perhaps taking the smallest amount of pressure off mother, child and staff. I was perfectly willing to spend the first night with my partner and son catching 40 winks on the armchair provided in the room they were moved to after the birth, but this was out of the question. I wish I could understand the reason but none was forthcoming.

Dave, Worcester,

It should be every man's right to be with his wife during and after childbirth. Considering the financial contribution that most fathers make to their children throughout their lives, this small thing isn't much to ask. It's mostly men's taxes that pay for maternity wards in the first place!

Tony Brown, Bath, England

The NHS could perhaps spend the tremendous amount of money this would cost on providing midwives.
Government advisors ( even those with non-dom tax status )have to come up with some fancy that can be released to fill a newspaper column before it's thrown in the bin.
Get real.

robert everitt, wolverhampton,

The general male response - its sick making and frightening. Why not insist on the Father making a contract with the Mother to spend more time with her and the children. Changing nappies, answering the cry in the night, babysitting to allow the mother to leave the children [and him] and have a good time instead.

jane, Whittlesey, CAMBRIDGESHIRE

my wife had a baby girl last tuesday and because she went into labour at 2am by circumstances i ended up being awake for about 30plus hours. I was made to go home and fell asleep during the car journey waking only when the car mounted the pavement narrowly avoiding an accident! I think accomodation for new fathers would be a good thing.

chris, Wirral, uk

More ridiculous 'newspeak'.
I was present at the birth of my son and for the 8 or 9 hours before his birth at 0100hrs or thereabouts. I helped my wife with the pre-birth routine, mostly it was my wife and I, with the mid-wife popping in now and again.
At that time I also held down a well paid job and although I was in a position to take off as much time as required, I still needed to keep my eye on developments, look after our home with our two pets and also give my wife 'space' after what was for her an exhausting experience.
There simply must be a limit to NHS loading, well intentioned folks who don't have to worry about their monthly income may well have the time to 'stay in with the wife' however, I would imagine that most of those in employment will still have to carry on a normal existence.
If it is to become the 'norm' then for goodness sake charge the real rate for the stay-not another loading on an already over burdened budget.

paul, Tongue, Sutherland

I've had three children. The first thing I wanted to do after watching the birth is get out of there and have a drink or five!
Birth is not a beautiful thing, its horrendous!

I agree though, if Fathers want to stay then the NHS should bow to that, its a Fathers right to be with their child 24hrs if thats what he wants.
Take a good supply of sick bags though

Phill, Wirral, England