E-mail scam now uses Hewitt’s name

Bing! It’s an e-mail from Patricia Hewitt, the former Health Secretary. Or, it claims to be.

“Dear Friend,” it begins. “I am Rt Hon Patricia Hewitt, MP. I actually got your contact via your country’s national directory.”

No apologies needed, Pat. Go on. “Before my retirement,” she continues, “I made an over estimation and stacked the sum of Six Million Three Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds, which I totally intend for charity . . .” Wow. What a story. But guess what? Patricia says that 11 per cent of the cash is ours, if only we give her access to our bank account!

We’re tempted. Was this what she meant when she said that the NHS was having its best year ever? Or is this a fraud attempt by one of those enterprising Nigerians? We suspect the latter. But obviously we’ve replied, just in case.

— Hurrah! The buffoon is back. After a swath of troublingly sober public appearances, Boris Johnson in a pink headband. Why? Who cares why?

— Attention. Dame Helen Mirren with a couple of new friends from the Royal Marines on the bridge of Ventura, a P&O ship that she named yesterday. Instead of smashing the bottle herself she ordered the Marines to abseil down the side and smash it for her. We’d like to think she used her Ma’am voice

— You would think that there would be some sort of special bond between jailed peers - at least enough bridge pairs for a decent tournament, there have been that many. Not so, the one-time jailbird Lord Brocket tells People at the opening of a new exhibition featuring his wife’s photos at La Galleria in Pall Mall. “I am disappointed that Jeffrey Archer never speaks to me,” he says, although we suspect that has more to do with Brocket’s appearance on I’m a Celebrity . . .

— With the status of cannabis again under consideration, Harry Enfield (most recently seen in Skins) is, like, chilled. “It’s all so pious,” he sighs, at an exhibition by Paul Simonon, the former Clash bassist. “I’ve never taken drugs, but it’s all just part of the scenery.”

— Nearby, we spot Bryan Ferry, musician and man about town, on the day that his son Otis, a hunting activist, was charged with attacking two hunt saboteurs. What about Ferry Sr? Is he pro-fox hunting, too? “I’m just pro Otis,” he tells us, diplomatically.

Postscript

— More, then, on yesterday’s news stories about the non-descript aircraft chartered by Gordon Brown - no Union Flag, no Air Force One-style jingoistic markings, nothing whatsoever suggesting a visiting world leader. Emblazoned with stars and a giant orange (allegedly Saturn, not where he is from), it has previously been hired by the Rolling Stones, Inter Milan and Glasgow Rangers - a nice anti-papist touch that, especially with the giant orange.

— Awaiting Gordon Brown (again) on his arrival in Washington, a White House festooned with flower boxes bearing bright yellow tulips - the papal colour (along with white) apparently. Or did the Americans think that the British Prime Minister was a Liberal Democrat?

— Writes Rosie Millard in this week’s New Statesman in an article entitled Masai warriors, nondoms and Rick Astley: “On Sunday 13 April, I was standing in a pen with thousands of other people. We were all greased with Vaseline and clad in singlets.” Alas, it was just the London Marathon. Rick Astley doesn’t turn up until later.

— Bez, the former Happy Mondays dancer, has been declared bankrupt for the second time. In 2005, when he won £50,000 on Celebrity Big Brother, he said: “I can pay my bills.” Which goes to show, erm, something.

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