One feels bad cos terminal is lousy

The ultimate censure for Heathrow Terminal 5. Even the Queen thinks it is awful.

According to Peter Duncan, the former Blue Peter presenter, Ma’am is dismayed about having opened such a great white elephant.

Duncan attended a dinner party this month at Windsor Castle. “We were standing looking towards Heathrow,” he told presenters J. K. and Joel, on Virgin Radio, “and she pointed out Terminal 5, and was saying, you know, that she recently opened it. I can’t remember the exact words, but it was something like, ‘I feel a bit bad about it cos it doesn’t really work’.”

Buckingham Palace has no comment on what it says was a personal conversation. We, however, have doubts about the “cos”.

A moment of levity from the royal blackmail trial at the Old Bailey as Jerome Lynch, QC, cross-examined Witness C, a friend of the royal . . .

Witness C: “How do I address you? Your Honour?”

Lynch: “That would be nice.” Judge: “Mr Lynch will do.” “In the world of legal,” insists our source, “that’s actually quite funny.”

According to buzz at the London Book Fair, John le Carré, the veteran thriller writer, has jettisoned his agent of several decades. Apparently, before the release of A Most Wanted Man (his 21st novel) le Carré has abandoned Bruce Hunter, of David Higham Associates, in favour of Jonny Geller, of Curtis Brown. “It’s true,” says Geller. “It was one of those things where I got a call and it was a very nice call and that’s that.”

The Evening Standard in London has been drubbing Ken Livingstone for months now, but the pro-Boris bias may be growing extreme. With photographers waiting outside after a mayoral debate on LBC radio, Anne McElvoy (the Standard’s executive editor) was seen to dip into her handbag and lend the dishevelled Tory a hairbrush.

As America goes nuts for the Pope and his Popemobile, we are reminded of our favourite papal transport fact. In 1988, when John Paul II visited Peru, an American security company was asked to create a vehicle that could withstand a potential terrorist attack. Early designs included gun ports. “That was dismissed by the Vatican,” said a spokesman. “It was decided it wouldn’t look good for the Pope to fight back.”

Enforced calm as the Olympic torch passed through Delhi yesterday, with spectators suppressing any urge to jeer or snigger. And, as it passed finally into the hands of the city’s chief minister, Sheila Dikshit, what urge could there have been?

Tony Curtis (yes, the one from Some Like it Hot and Spartacus) posed with Mohamed Al Fayed at Harrods to unveil an art exhibition entitled The Tony Curtis Collection. Of the many, many questions that this whole scenario raises, we feel the most pertinent one is this: why is he holding a banana?

Mackenzie Crook's latest film Three and Out is to be picketed by Aslef. It is about a Tube driver in search of a volunteer to jump under his train. Obviously it’s a comedy

Postscript

Honor Blackman , a card-carrying Liberal Democrat and former Bond girl, has no problem with Nick Clegg’s well-notched bedpost. At the Imperial War Museum, for the launch of its James Bond exhibition, she tells People: “I really don’t think it’s any big deal that he’s an experienced lover. I think it makes him more attractive and human. It’s good for a man to have lived a bit.” And Clegg, as we know, is also a fan of Pussy Galore.

Ken Livingstone tells the BBC Asian Network: “If I believe what I read in the papers I wouldn’t vote for myself.” At least he’s in touch with Londoners.

Leonard Nimoy admits that he doesn’t quite comprehend J. J. Abrams’s script for the new Star Trek movie, in which Nimoy reprises his role as Spock. “I said to [Abrams], ‘You’ve got the characters wonderfully, but I’d be lying to you if I understood everything’.” Most un-Spock-like.

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