Say cheese: Bailey shoots from hip

Britain’s most highbrow lad mag (GQ) profiles Britain’s political movers and shakers this month. If some of them look uneasy in the portraits, it may be thanks to David Bailey, the renowned fashion photographer.

When William Hague arrived for his photos, Bailey’s first words were: “I hate f***ing politicians.” Hague was apparently unruffled. “Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy photographing them better,” he retorted. Badoom tish.

Most participants were photographed in Bailey’s Bloomsbury studio. David Miliband had it checked out by security. For Gordon Brown, Bailey visited Downing Street.

According to the magazine the two men bonded. This, despite a rather shaky start, during which Bailey peered into the PM’s eyes and asked: “Which one is the dodgy one?”

— Above is Amy Winehouse, as interpreted by "Lord" Tim Hudson, the millionaire hippy artist. It's part of Sirens of Silicon, an exhibition that will tour California. Hudson believes that Winehouse is a "pornographic priestess". He also used to manage Sir Ian Botham.

— Ricky Gervais is diligently blogging the making of his directorial debut, This Side of the Truth, on his website, rickygervais.com “We cast another big name in a cameo role,” he writes. “I can’t give away who but I have warned the hair and make-up department that he’ll only need make-up.” Bald? Or Russell Brand?

— Geri Halliwell gave a reading at London Zoo from her new children’s book Ugenia Lavender on Sunday. Present, and looking about as at home as a group of giraffes in the penguin enclosure, were George Osborne and family. “They were dressed a bit differently from everybody else,” says our source, carefully. “But somebody did say that George and Geri were friends.”

— The former Westlife member Brian McFadden has been telling an Australian TV show about meeting the Queen at the Royal Variety Show in 1999. Warned to say only “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am,” the singer ad-libbed and said: “Your dress looks like a Quality Street wrapper.”

— “Thank you so much,” said the Queen, politely.

Agyness Deyn, the model hailed as a fashion icon despite usually looking as if she has been at a bad taste Hallowe’en party dressed as Paula Yates, is venturing into the world of pop.

She provides vocals for a new single called Who, by the band Five O’Clock Heroes. Who indeed?

— Yeltsin had tennis, Putin had judo. Now, thanks to exactly the sort of item in the Indian press that makes this job feel so worthwhile, we can inform you that Dmitri Medvedev, the President-elect of Russia, is a yoga devotee, and can perform shirshasana, or a headstand.

— Geoff Hoon was the British Government’s envoy to the White House correspondents’ dinner on Friday, alongside the Bush-friendly US Alist. The Chief Whip may have been slightly starstruck. According to our eyewitness, he stopped and posed amid camera flashes on the red carpet, having failed to notice Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner ten paces behind.

— Ed Stourton, presenter of Today on Radio 4, knows that posh is a problem. “We were asked to edit a student edition of Punch,” he tells CAM, a Cambridge alumni magazine. “Our token non-Oxbridge person was Craig Brown, from Bristol University – and Eton. We were interviewed about it. When recently we heard the interview again, we realised we all sounded like the Queen.”

Postscript

Into People’s inbox drops an e-mail telling us of Sarah Jessica Parker’s new film, Smart People, released in Britain next month. The Sex in the City star plays a doctor who falls in love with a university professor. The name of the film’s publicist? Zac Brilliant. Genius. Or a publicity stunt. Not sure.

— There are many different avenues to take while attempting to attract a mate, but Russell Brand (again) has plumped for the postmodern approach to flirting, he tells Empire magazine. “I’m prepared to give up everything for you”, he would tell the apple of his eye. “Shall I throw my shoes in a ditch?”, he’d continue. “They’re my mum’s anyway.” Hmm.

— Via The Stage, we hear grumblings coming out of Brighton at news that the University of Brighton is to stage Diana – the Musical. Margaret Funnell, of Brighton’s Diana Circle – yes, it appears to exist – considers the forthcoming production “distasteful and disgusting”. This is probably because she’s heard that it features a skeleton princess who wears a tiara and hangs out in Mexico with other dead celebrities.

— At the Coachella festival in California at the weekend Glen Hansard, the Dublin-born singer and Oscar winner, kindly disabused his audience of any misunderstandings that they may have been harbouring about the Irish. “If you’re ever in an argument with an Irishman, turn your jacket inside out, and they have to tell the truth,” he said. “We come from fairies and there are certain laws we have to follow,” he added, just in case this wasn’t clear.

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