THE pampered posteriors of Britain’s bathrooms are placing an increasing strain on plumbers as ever-kinder toilet tissues block up the nation’s drains.

With households preparing to buy bulk supplies for relatives who will descend over Christmas, a timely warning emerges of the hidden dangers posed by lavatory decadence.

A 10 per cent rise in emergency call-outs to unblock toilets is being blamed on the increasing time that it takes for tissue to disintegrate after flushing. In the first six months of this year, more than 35,000 toilets had to be unblocked.

A study looked at how quickly various toilet papers, from luxury brands to newspaper, broke down in water.

The authors stop short of demanding a return to Izal and Bronco, the non-absorbent “tracing-paper” brands which left generations of schoolchildren suffering from scratched bottoms, but Alan McLaughlin, a spokesman for British Gas, which recently bought the drain company Dyno-Rod and carried out the survey, said: “The explosion in luxury toilet paper is placing toilets under considerable strain. Some paper takes hours to disintegrate. This results in our plumbers being called out more often.”

The villains appear to be the new “moist” papers, popular in countries such as Britain and the US where bidets are rare. They can survive five days in water while traditional varieties vanish within minutes.

The heroes are the least glamorous rolls. Sainsbury’s recycled paper took four minutes to disintegrate and cheaper supermarket paper only three minutes. The bad news for comfort lovers is that Izal performed impressively, vanishing in 30 minutes.

One paper aimed at children, Kandoo, failed to break down even after five days.

“Toilet paper specifically aimed at kids might be kind to them, but could be putting real strain on your pipe work and drains,” Mr McLaughlin said.

The new toilet papers causing the problem are the latest in a line of changes often pioneered by royalty — perhaps because of the historic importance of the throne.

The first toilet paper was produced by the Bureau of Imperial Supplies in China, which made 720,000 sheets measuring 2ft by 3ft, for the emperor, in AD1391. Henry VIII employed a “Groom of the Stool” to ensure “the house of easement be sweet and clear” by cleaning the monarch’s behind with his hand.

For humbler classes, newspapers provided a rougher alternative. Old Farmer’s Almanac was sold with a hole in the corner to be hung in the privy.

The first factory-produced paper was produced by Joseph Cayetty of New York in 1857. An Englishman, Walter Alcock, had the bright idea to put it on rolls in 1879. Perforations appeared in the late Victorian Age and softer, two-ply paper was introduced in 1942. The Second World War also saw the first novelty papers, bearing pictures of Hitler.

Clues to the House of Windsor’s current preferences can be found in the list of Royal Warrant holders. Kimberly Clark, makers of Andrex, have the discreet legend: “Manufacturers of disposable tissues.”

DISPERSAL TIME

Sainsbury’s low price (3 minutes)
Sainsbury’s recycled 4 minutes
Andrex regular (peach) 6 minutes
Velvet Quilted 15 minutes
Charmin Comfort 18 minutes
Andrex aloe vera 26 minutes
Izal Medicated 30 minutes
Newspaper 60 minutes
Andrex moist wipes 5 days
Kandoo children’s moist wipes 5 days

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