I want to break free — from all this squabbling

Can Nelson Mandela use his peace-making skills to solve a spat over his all-star 90th birthday gig in Hyde Park on Friday?

Queen, who are promising a Live Aid-style performance fronted by Paul Rodgers, are unhappy with an ITV trailer for the show that fails to mention that the purpose of the event is to raise funds for Mr Mandela’s Aids foundation. “ITV are very flaky, unfortunately,” blogs Brian May, the guitarist, adding: “And, though they were supposed to have all advertising material approved by us, they didn’t bother.

“Someone at ITV obviously thinks that we are not worthy of mentioning, any more than the cause, which is the real reason for the whole thing — 46664 [the campaign uses Mandela's former prison number] — Madiba’s great crusade against Aids and poverty.”

ITV argues that the trailer is designed to attract casual viewers and that the Aids foundation will get plenty of coverage during the broadcast. With Dame Shirley Bassey pulling out because of illness and Amy Winehouse in hospital with emphysema, the great Madiba might have to sing a few tunes himself.

— No more choc and awe for British troops. Yorkie bars, once the staple of ration packs, are to be withdrawn because the heat in Iraq and Afghanistan turned them into a soggy brown mess. Last year more than 1.5 million bars of the truckers’ favourite, labelled “Not for civvis”, were eaten by our boys and girls in different parts of the world. Our MoD source says that they are to be replaced by a new, heat-resistant strain of flapjack.

— After 27 years the circus is coming to town again — well, to the West End — thanks to the brave decision by Sir Cameron Mackintosh to resurrect the musical Barnum. Is there anyone who could dazzle us like Michael Crawford did in the lead?

“It would be lovely to have Hugh Jackman on board,” Mackintosh’s office says. “He’s exactly the right sort of personality.” But is he free?

— David Davis is too busy to accept a briefing from Lord Carlile of Berriew, QC, the Government’s terrorism adviser. “I regret that my letters to the Shadow Home Secretary have gone largely unanswered,” the peer writes, “and that in his undoubtedly hectic life he was able only to offer me an appointment nearly 12 months distant.” Does Shami Chakrabarti have the same problem?

Make way for Mr Macabre

The Face: Ian McEwan

For an author so intent on remaining private it was surprising that Ian McEwan should have delivered such a withering attack on Islam in Corriere della Sera, the Italian newspaper.

Criticising a world view he “despises”, which aims to “create a society that I detest”, the author of Atonement chose to stand four- square beside his friend Martin Amis, who was vilified for similar remarks.

Once nicknamed “Ian Macabre” for the peversities of his characters, the Booker Prize winner is becoming increasingly preoccupied with the fate of the world. After witnessing a melting glacier during an Arctic expedition, he will tackle global warming in his next novel.

Despite the clinical dissection of human nature in his novels, McEwan, 60, is a man of action. He now believes that military intervention is desireable to rescue the people of Zimbabwe.

Postscript

Scarlett Johansson tells the Politico.com website that she often e-mails Barack Obama. The actress can’t believe that he has time to respond to her. We can’t for the life of us believe it either. What’s got into the man?

— Jarvis Cocker promotes his forthcoming Musical Map of Sheffield on Radio 2, as only he could. “As a map, it’s useless,” he tells Radio Times. “You’d get lost immediately. Basically, it’s just me wittering on, with some music and archive stuff.”

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