Naomi models herself a new diplomatic role

Her previous convictions suggest that Naomi Campbell might not make the ideal diplomat but the supermodel’s role as a hostage go-between can be revealed. During an encounter with Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, the chic Argentine President, in Buenos Aires, Campbell urged her to intervene to help to release the female hostages held for years by Colombian guerrillas.

Fernández dispatched her husband, the former President Nestor Kirchner, to Colombia, who was thanked by President Sarkozy for his role in securing the release of Ingrid Betancourt and other hostages. The Campbell-Fernández summit, soon to be a GQ feature, went slightly off the rails when discussion strayed from fashion to the Falklands. Perhaps Campbell, who stages a charity fashion show in Nigeria tonight with Jay-Z, is not ready for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office just yet.

Repeal of the Hunting Act clearly remains a hot issue in the Cameron family. Lord Astor, a regular with the Old Berkshire Hunt, who is married to the mother of Samantha Cameron, has agreed to become vice-chairman of the Repeal Committee, which is to lead the campaign to scrap the ban on the sport. So Dave knows that if he wants to keep the inlaws happy, one of his first deeds, in the event of a Conservative election victory, will be to give Parliament a chance to remove the Act from the statute.

Can Jade Jagger save the world through clubbing? The fashionista is launching Britain’s first “eco-disco” in King’s Cross. The Surya club will house a wind turbine, a quartz crystal dance floor and “waterless urinals” (an idea possibly borrowed from Glastonbury). The dancing motion of clubbers will generate enough surplus energy to power not only the club but also neighbouring properties, promises Ms Jagger. It might also just begin to offset the carbon catastrophe of Dad’s regular worldwide jaunts with the Rolling Stones.

Roly Keating, the BBC Two boss, is “extremely confident” that Richard Hammond and James May will sign on for another year of Top Gear. The popular duo want to nudge their £350,000 pay packets closer to the £2 million earned by Jeremy Clarkson, who has a stake in the programme rights. There are “always limits”, said Keating, who controls the chequebook. The BBC can hardly complain if its star presenters demand parity with the corporation’s executive class.

Annoying? It’s just the start

The Face: Gummy Bear

“People from every country love to watch me sing and dance,” claims Gummy Bear, the latest irritating internet phenomenon that will make sentient adults nostalgic for Crazy Frog.

With his orange briefs, manic dance and inane Europop, the “yummy, tummy, funny, lucky” animated character is Hungary’s revenge for every slight inflicted during the nation’s history. YouTube viewings currently stand at 14 million.

Britain has just four days to surrender before the release of a single, I Am Your Gummy Bear (The Gummy Bear Song), said to be the most annoying summer song since Wet Wet Wet’s Love is All Around, which drove us mad in 1994.

Unfortunately, there is nowhere to hide, though. Gummy Bear is a global ringtone phenomenon, with a sinister message: “I am learning new languages every day.”

Postscript

Anne Robinson was banned from driving for six months yesterday after admitting her fourth speeding offence. Later, it was reported that the presenter of The Weakest Link had been forced to pay her husband of 27 years £20 million in their divorce settlement. Still, this should leave her with at least £40 million to play with. Today is a new day.

— An evolutionary mix-up for Channel 4 as it announced the DVD release of a “powerful documentary” entitled Darwin on Dawkins. Britain’s “foremost evolutionary biologist will bring to life his hero”. How flattering for Richard Dawkins.

— The Battle of Sherlock Holmes has begun. Robert Downey Jr has signed up to play the detective in Guy Ritchie’s all-action take on the tale while Sacha Baron Cohen has the deerstalker and pipe for a rival comic version.

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