Diplomacy gone west

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office would probably prefer it if Craig Murray, Britain’s former Ambassador to Uzbekistan, had stayed in Tashkent. The one-time diplomat, who was sacked after speaking out about human rights abuses, used his appearance at the Edinburgh Book Festival to accuse Gordon Brown and John Prescott of war crimes and compared his erstwhile FCO colleagues to Nazis.

“When I asked friends how they could live with the idea of torture and extraordinary renditions they would retort, ‘I’m only doing my job’.”

So why was he invited, despite not having a book out? “After inviting Gordon Brown and John Prescott, the festival wanted to invite a speaker that wasn’t a war criminal.”

Andy Murray, cheesed off after losing another match? (right) That’s what we thought. But no, it’s Chris Cross promoting his show by doing uncomfortable-looking things with his elbows on the Royal Mile

Joan Rivers, the queen of sardonic putdowns, was for once on the receiving end of a sharp comment when she kept her audience waiting in humid conditions for half an hour on Tuesday night. Punters at the midnight show grew increasingly restless as water oozed from the walls of the packed 100-seater White Belly venue. When she finally arrived, Rivers announced: “On the way to Edinburgh I stopped off in London to cremate my mother-in-law.” An audience member responded: “Was she dead?”

Postscript

— Gustavo Dudamel, the celebrated Venezuelan conductor, oozed such charisma at the Usher Hall on Tuesday that he persuaded the brass section of the normally nononsense Gothenburg Symphony to leap to their feet during a rendition of Tico Tico.

— No more fish’n’chips for Carl Donnelly who, according to a health check organised by his fellow comic John Ryan, is officially the unhealthiest stand-up at the Fringe. Concerned nurses told Donnelly to go to casualty. He’ll see a doctor on his return to London, “if I make it that far”.

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