Newsround theme is bang up to date

There are some things you don’t mess with, we believe, and the Newsround theme tune is high on the list. The tea-time children’s favourite has been given a BBC makeover but producers have ruled that the famous urgent bongo tattoo, which signalled the arrival of John Craven, must go because bongos are just so old-fashioned. “Our composer Chris Banks has rearranged and remixed it so that it doesn’t sound too retro for our target audience of six to 12-year-olds,” says Sinead Rocks, the editor of Newsround. “So the bongos are out but, I think, we’ve managed to retain some of the same sense of urgency that managed to grab my attention when I was a child.” How does a six-year-old know what is retro, we try asking Craven, but he is filming up north and can’t get phone reception. We doubt he will approve.

— If that’s a poker face, let’s stick with snap. As Boris Becker (above) launches the Pokerstars.com European Poker Tour, one of these sporting icons has not been brought in from the lookalike agency, but we’re still not sure which. The chap on the right has Valentino Rossi written on his shirt to assist those not familiar with the MotoGP world motorcycling champ

— Vindication seems likely for Rick Astley, who is a surprise contender for “best act ever” at this year’s MTV Europe Music Awards. Astley returned to the world stage when a clip of Never Gonna Give You up was seen by millions via the web phenonemon known as “Rickrolling”. Only Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and U2 can prevent Astley taking his place in the pop pantheon.

— Barack Obama can expect a stomping disco theme tune after Ana Matronic, titian-haired diva of pop combo the Scissor Sisters, offered to pen him a song. “I am a deeply political animal and wanna get involved,” she tells us at a Shepherds Bush fashion show. “We wanna shake it about for Obama. I’m just waiting for the call.” But would a track from the ultra-camp Sisters win many swing votes in the Midwest?

— Smart Tories saved money on hotels in Birmingham by taking to the water. Tony Baldry hired a narrowboat on the Grand Union Canal for the duration of the party conference. “Birmingham has many more miles of canals than Venice,” he enthuses. “It was genuinely fun and we had a great party.” Delegates who complained of queues to get into the ICC hall were not so keen on Brum. The Tories will return in 2010 but the city is “on trial” as a regular venue, say MPs.

Model role for the face of M&S

The Face: Twiggy

In the Sixties, it was said that skinny Twiggy had “Front” emblazoned on her chest so people would get her the right way round. Discovered, aged 16 and named the “Face of ’66”, the Neasden chick was the original size zero girl, before “body image issues” were invented.

Now approaching 60, and with the look of a safe pair of hands behind the tombola stall, she is Marks & Spencer’s model of choice to promote the retailer’s pistachio wrap skirts. A trailblazer for models who wanted to have it all, the former Lesley Hornby starred in Ken Russell’s The Boyfriend and was indulged with a pop career in swinging London’s heyday.

Now she is girding her loins for the oh-so-green, Twiggy’s Fashion Trade, a BBC Two series showing the credit-crunched how to recycle clothes.

Infamous for once weighing six-and-a-half stone, she would now be dragged off the catwalk and force-fed protein shakes.

Postscript

— We applaud Jamie Oliver’s commitment to teaching Rotherham’s poorest families how to cook. But will his chip-devouring students have £25 spare to pay for the lavish recipe book that accompanies his new Ministry of Food series for Channel 4?

— “I’m a candidate, can I have three minutes to get a picture?” David Cameron was asked at conference. “You can have two minutes”, replied busy Dave. The picture that appears on the Recess Monkey blog shows the Tory leader smiling alongside Alex Hilton, a parliamentary candidate. A Labour candidate.

— A poser for Eric Cantona from the football magazine FourFourTwo: Who was the greatest French footballer ever - Michel Platini or Zinédine Zidane? “Somebody else,” answered the enigmatic one. “Me.”

— The financial crisis has yet to hit the Porsche showroom in Berkeley Square. Katherine Jenkins was paid £38,000 to perform a 20-minute set there for a Dubai property developer.

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