Will Pavia and Julia Belluz
Download 'Too Hot', an exclusive Specials track from iTunes

This Saturday afternoon Olga Donskova and at least 100 friends from her native city of Almaty will stand in Wembley Stadium and sing of their nation's glorious struggle for independence.
The anthem tells of a land with a vast blue sky and a bulging sun, a nation founded by nomads from the Mongol empire, a nation swallowed by Russia in 1848 that burst forth again on to the world stage in 1991 as the Republic of Kazakhstan.
To cap it all, their football team will play at Wembley against England. They may even play against David Beckham, a man who commands almost as much love and admiration in Kazakhstan as their long-time president, Nursultan Nazarbayev. For Ms Donskova, 22, a banker at JP Morgan, it will be “a very emotional moment”.
For Dastan Moldakhanov, 21, a fellow citizen of Kazakhstan, it will be “one the most exciting things that has ever happened”.
For Kazakhstan's ambitious football federation, the match will represent a crucial step in its plan to convert the country into one of the world's great footballing nations.
This aim was expressed by the football federation's president, Adilbek Dzhaksybekov, last summer, when he spoke of making Kazakhstan “famous for its people who play good football”.
The republic is known for its splendid oil and gas reserves, vast territories and burgeoning economy, but it does not yet have a reputation for playing champagne football.
Its team is ranked 131st in the world, behind Hong Kong but ahead of Singapore, and fans still fondly recall a 0-0 draw against Belgium as one of the nation's finest performances.
In the Pasha Hotel in South London, which claims to have Europe's only Kazakhstani restaurant (though it also serves discerning Turkmen, Kyrgyz and Uzbeki diners as well), Mika Kaliyeva, 20, a history of art student, struggled to name a single player.
“They aren't really very famous in Kazakhstan,” she said. “Our boxers and wrestlers and cyclists, they are the famous ones.” Kazakhstan's version of David Beckham would probably be a cyclist, she said.
She thought Kazakhstan could match England in any of these disciplines, and would also easily win a game of kozlodranie, one of Kazakhstan's national sports.
“It is played on horseback,” she said. “Originally it was played with the head of a goat. Now they play it with a ball.”
Then there is kyz kuu, which translates as “chase the girl”. “It is sort of a race,” she said. “First the girl goes on horseback. Then the men chase after her. When they catch her they have to kiss her.” The girl may fend them off with a horse whip.
She thought England's football players might struggle to keep up, though she conceded that they ought not to be underestimated when it came to chasing women.
Ms Donskova, her friend, said: “It's not like here. In Kazakhstan no one wants to be a sportsman. They want to be businessmen.”
For both women, it will be the first football match they have ever attended. “I hope they do that wave thing,” said Ms Donskova. “And I hope they score one goal.”
The men at her table also struggle to name Kazakhstan's team, though this is partly because the team's German coach, Berndt Storck, has dropped four of the country's most established players.
Mr Storck's Dutch predecessor, Arno Pijpers, was unceremoniously fired last month after Kazakhstan lost to Croatia and Ukraine.
He complained that it was “like being put in charge of Derby County one year and then, without being able to buy any players, told that you have to win the Premier League the following season”.
Mr Storck has elevated young men who have never before played an international fixture. Many Kazakh fans believe he has lost his mind. Mr Moldakhanov said: “One fan website was wondering just how many goals they will lose by.”
He was still optimistic. “This is the chance to play the best team in the world. We will thank our President that we can watch this game, this is a big chance for us.”
Asked who might represent Kazakhstan's David Beckham, he replied, earnestly: “For us David Beckham is an idol and a role model.
“He and his wife and his family show us how to be, how to live fashionably. Beckham is the greatest. There is no one in Kazakhstan like him. But one day I believe we will produce a man like him. We will produce our own David Beckham.”
What they're singing
The Embassy of Kazakhstan estimates that between 500 and 2,000 football fans will have made the journey from Central Asia to Wembley today to support their national team.
All of the younger fans will know the words to their national anthem, which they learn at school from the age of 6.
They will shout: “Alga, Kazakhstan!”, a traditional slogan when supporting one of the national teams, that translates as “Go forward Kazakhstan”.
The travelling Kazakh football fan also comes equipped with Russian phrases. “Na milo!” translates as “Make soap out of them!” It is considered rather rude and should not be uttered in polite Kazakh society.
If the referee angers the crowd with his decisions, they might turn their attentions to him, shouting: “Sud'yu na milo!” - “Make soap out of the referee!”
As they struggle to match the sometimes inventive singing of the England fans, they may choose to reply in kind.
“Sender Shotlandiya aspanda ma?” was considered a reasonable translation of the oft-uttered English chant “Are you Scotland in disguise?”, although fans were generally bemused as to why this would be appropriate.
And for those wishing to hit back at their rivals: “U nas bolshe hecti chem u vas! Bilzde kop munai bar!” - “We have got more oil than you!” may prove the ideal Kazakh repost to English triumphalism.
Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the power of collective thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Media Hub Home Entertainment System
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
per month on 36-month
Personal Contract Hire (PCH)
2008
42850
Car Insurance
£24,250 - £30,346
MI5
London
£60,000
The Environment Agency
Bristol
Up to £90K
Boots
Midlands
OTE £85k
Credit Protection Association
Nationwide Opportunities
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Fabulous Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers Including Virgin Atlantic Flights Prices Start From Only £699pp!
Last Minute Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers. Med From £499pp, Caribbean From £699pp!
5 star quality at a 3 star price.
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.