SCORES of police descended on Westminster yesterday. At first, I thought it was because the Foreign Secretary was giving a statement on Iraq. This was foolish, for that subject may be vexed but it has also exhausted everyone.

Jack Straw did not even raise his voice as he explained why everything is going to be wonderful in Baghdad very soon indeed. The Commons was half-empty and most MPs present were going through the motions. It is not surprising that the protesters could not be bothered either.

No, the ring of steel was there to keep out anyone named Otis, for the Lords were debating hunting. Again. What are they going to do if this issue ever gets settled? They are never more eloquent than when speaking about their deep love of furry animals and why this means they must hunt and kill them. You might think that contradictory, but then you were not there.

Lord Whitty, for the Government, said that they were in the last-chance saloon. I have to note that he also said this last year when the Bill came before the Lords. Now we know that was only the penultimate-chance saloon, which sounds a pretty dodgy place to be.

If Lord Whitty were honest yesterday (which is always dangerous in politics) then he should have said that they were in the no-chance saloon. Labour MPs have made it clear that they want a ban, whatever the Upper House decides.

Everyone was pretending that this was not the case. It was denial on a massive scale. Baroness Byford, for the Tories, said that the Lords should amend the Bill so that hunting can be regulated and not banned. This was the only possible way forward. Otherwise the hunters would feel hunted and it would be divisive. “This Bill has little to do with animal welfare and all to do with bigotry and class prejudice,” sniffed the baroness, who was wearing a suit of truly egregious green.

Everyone agreed that the Bill was not about foxhunting at all. It was about people and intolerance. One baroness announced that she too had a list of things she would like to ban. These included the sport of boxing and powerboats “in tranquil areas”.

The Bishop of Chelmsford, the Rt Rev John Gladwin, gave warning that rural areas would feel ignored. “Hunting is not being debated in the pubs of East London but the temperature is rising in north Essex.”

This perplexed everyone, as they pondered how difficult central heating can be at this time of year. Then the bishop revealed that he also had a list of things to ban. “It might include adultery, gambling and tobacco.” The chamber was pin-drop quiet as these words hovered over the plush red seats.

Lord Mancroft is a board member of the Countryside Alliance. He is tall and thin and fiercely against people who are against him. His pocket handkerchief was alarmingly large and active. I thought for a moment it might be a dove pretending to be a handkerchief, such was its flappability.

It was, however, only mirroring the excitement of its owner. Lord Mancroft accused the Government of acting like “a fascist dictatorship”. “It is OK to abuse hunting people because, like Jews in Nazi Germany, we are undesirables,” he said. The Bill was not about hunting at all but about trust.

“My Lords, the whole world is watching!” he said, handkerchief dancing at his breast as he sat down. Now that is a frightening thought.

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