LEAVING a wet towel on the bathroom floor may seem a minor issue but it could wreck a relationship. Scientists have identified a list of the most annoying habits that can cause rifts between couples.

The study of minor irritations in domestic life has found that people can almost become “allergic” to a partner’s foibles. Failure to control that shrill laugh might end in marriage-destroying fury.

Among the most annoying habits are failing to hang up towels, leaving a new loo roll on top of the empty one and using a fork as a backscratcher. Cringe-inducing endearments such “babykins” can also caused an adverse reaction. When repeated, a couple can reach snapping point.

Many of the habits detailed in the study, published in the academic journal Personal Relationships, are the familiar fibre of male-female interaction.

They include nose-picking, burping and tatty clothes in men and lateness, verbosity and demands for reassurance about clothing in women.

The study, funded by the US government’s health research arm and conducted in the department of communications at Louisville University, Kentucky, charted the grim “deromanticisation” of more than 160 people’s relationships.

It also compared what was termed “social allergen frequency” (nasty habits), with relationship satisfaction and failure in a further 274 people.

The resulting report, Social Allergies in Romantic Relationships, aims to establish the nature of the link between nasty habits and nasty divorce Some of the issues raised will provide bored couples with a new range of things to complain about. It highlights the irritation of resetting the presets on the car radio; the fabrication of anecdotes to enliven dinner parties; and the reading of e-mails while purporting to conduct a conversation about the mortgage.

According to the study, women exhibit slightly higher levels of irritating habits than men, with male partners citing such offences as possessiveness, criticism and “giving commands without having legitimate authority”.

The researchers, two men and two women, suggested women were also more likely to complain about uncouth behaviour and “norm violations”, such as drunkenness or flatulence, while men would withdraw and eventually leave.

“The basic notion that things become more irksome over time is something that has never been looked at before,” said Michael Cunningham, who led the research.

“Relatively minor unpleasant behaviours appear to affect a partner’s emotions in a way that resembles how physical allergens function. The first experience is likely to produce a small negative reaction, but repeated contact increases sensitivity.

“Wet towels on the bathroom floor cause mild irritation. But the reaction gets stronger each time it happens. Through repeated exposure it may produce a social allergy — a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust.”

British researchers agree that childish bickering is common to relationships. It is when there are underlying problems that the minor irritations take on unmanageable proportions.

“It comes up a heck of a lot as an issue in relationship problems,” said Paula Hall, a therapist for the counselling charity Relate. “A disgusting habit, or the fact that someone has let themselves go, can be seen as indicative of a lack of respect for their partner.

“The reason it comes up is because arguing about someone’s nasty habits is easier than arguing about why you haven’t had sex for two years.”

Long-term couples generally concur that finding their other half irritating is part of life. Laird Cawood, 32, a north London accountant, launched into a litany of complaint about his girlfriend Valerian Spicer.

“It is a mystery how she can take so long to get ready,” he said. “She takes forever, and when we go on holiday she’ll always take too many things.

“I get very frustrated with her map reading. She can’t drive, and I can’t read the map and drive at the same time.”

He admitted, however, he had faults. “I find bodily functions funny and she most certainly doesn’t,” he said. Nevertheless, the couple are still happy after more than four years together.

NIGGLES THAT CAN GET NASTY

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