Britain beware. The nation has been put on alert for a sinister Christmas-time menace.

Failure to heed the warnings, say ministers, could result in “tipsy” grandmas “toppling down the stairs” or “crashing to the floor when they miss their seat at the dinner table”, exploding gravy dishes and “parents stabbing themselves with scissors they’ve grabbed instead of screw-drivers to assemble toys”.

These danger signs are outlined in a “festive” leaflet designed to look like an Advent calendar and entitled “Tis the Season to Be Careful”. Some 150,000 will be thrust upon unsuspecting shoppers in high streets around the country in the last three shopping days before Christmas.

Delyth Morgan, the Minister for Children, insists that the leaflets are a well-meant attempt to advise parents about potential domestic hazards. This includes telling them to take care with candles and games with small pieces, and to be careful with aftershave and perfume, as they contain alcohol that is harmful if swallowed.

“The festive period is for families to enjoy each others’ company, gifts and food, so the last thing you want is a trip to the hospital as a result of an accident which, with a little thought, can be avoided.

“That’s why the leaflet we’ve produced will act as a reminder of the small but important things parents can do around the home to make sure Christmas is a time for fun and laughter, not tears,” she said.

Sheila Merrill, of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA), said that, with so many people milling around the home at Christmas, accidents could easily happen. “One of the good things about Christmas is that there are typically more people around to supervise the children, and, with a little more care and forward planning, most accidents and the resulting trips to A&E could be avoided,” she said.

With this apocalyptic vision of Christmas in mind, ministers - with the help of RoSPA - have compiled a list of typical yuletide accidents to be wary of.

They include: people cutting themselves with knives they are using to open presents too quickly, children falling off rocking horses (presumably meant for those who think it is 1908, not 2008); bikes smashing into walls; hot fat spilt on the cook as they try to grapple with a big turkey; tipsy party guests crashing to the floor when they miss their seat at the table and children getting drunk on the last dregs of wine left in other people’s glasses.

Despite these warnings, RoSPA is still expecting more than 80,000 people to attend A&E departments this year after accidents at home during the 12 days of Christmas.

According to RoSPA, about 1,000 people go to hospital every year after accidents with Christmas trees; another 1,000 are hurt by trimmings or when decorating their homes; and 350 are injured by Christmas tree lights - some fall while putting them up, children swallow the bulbs and others get electric shocks.

Frank Furedi, Professor of sociology at the University of Kent and author of the book Paranoid Parenting, said that empty health warnings had become a trade mark of government. “Around Christmas time governments often become a caricature of themselves, and this shows through in their risk-averse behaviour,” he said. “They know they have to say something to warn people, but they don’t know exactly what to warn us about. So they end up trying to turn the most routine, everyday experience into a potential hazard and what you get is this banal ritual of empty health warnings.”

Explore UK News

• Crime News

• Education News

• Health News

• Science News

• Scotland News

Times Recommends

• Tree stump 'shows image of Virgin Mary'
• BBC drops Strictly judge for younger model
• Trafalgar Square 'reduced to a spectacle'