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Like many career women, Mrs Barnes, an interior designer, did not get round to thinking about having children until she was 36.
After a couple of years of trying to conceive she began two “gut-wrenching” rounds of IVF treatment, which proved unsuccessful. By the time she turned 39, the couple had given up hope. After agreeing that what they wanted most was a family, they decided to adopt.
The couple embarked on the lengthy process to win approval. “That took about six months and was very difficult because, just like going through IVF, you feel powerless. We finally got approval to go ahead when I was 41.”
They wanted three children, but were keen to try to keep a family together. They decided to take on twin boys aged 5 and a girl aged 6. “People ask me if I have the same maternal feelings towards my children as other mothers. I say, ‘Yes, and more’. I don't believe it is possible to love anyone more than I love my children. I have been bowled over by the whole thing. So has the rest of our extended family.”
Having built her career, she was happy to give up working, a decision she thinks was “vital”, and an advantage of being an older parent.
“I know that would have been a more difficult decision if I was in my thirties.”
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