One-upmanship follows hoax in battle of the biographers

With not many shopping days left until the end of the Sir John Betjeman centenary celebrations, the most enjoyable literary spat of the year is building to a climax. Bevis Hillier, the Betjeman biographer who hoaxed his rival, A. N. Wilson, into publishing a fake love letter from the former Poet Laureate, has been elected president of the Betjeman Society. Among the society’s vice-presidents is one A. N. Wilson. Mr Hillier memorably worked the phrase

“A. N. Wilson is a sh*t”into the letter (in code, obviously). Peter Gammond, the vice-chairman of the society, tells us: “I thought it was hilarious. We’ve made it clear by appointing Bevis that we are on his side.” Mr Wilson rather pointlessly denied that he was a vice-president of the society yesterday. “It is a matter of total indifference to me,” he said grandly.

• It is no surprise to see that Baroness Thatcher is among those honoured in Time magazine’s 60 Years of Heroes (from Europe, the Middle East and Africa).

  And it is not that we object to the Beatles, Diana, Princess of Wales, and Bob Geldof being included on the list.

  It is just that, surely, there must be more than seven people from the “Middle East and Africa” bit worth honouring. Nelson Mandela, Fela Kuti and Yitzhak Rabin are included, but, we wonder, who did J. K. Rowling, Johnny Rotten and Vanessa Redgrave force out?

• More Birt-speak for the post-Birt BBC. From yesterday, Auntie no longer has TV and radio departments. She has Vision and Audio & Music, forging valiantly into tomorrow alongside Journalism and Future Media & Technology. One clearly bewildered Audio & Music presenter reports: “You can’t say radio any more in case people are listening on a mobile phone or a toenail, or a haddock, or something.”

  Jungle roundup

  The latest . . . Jan Leeming has her fourth Bushtucker trial, which involves leading a succession of animals over china plates. Designer Scott Henshall is left with scratches and bite marks after scrapping with actress Phina Oruche over the Celebrity Chest. Phina says: “This is a career low.” And briefly interested, we wonder what her career high was.

• Much festive good cheer at the Home Office, where John Reid has ordered press officers to generate at least one news story each day over Christmas. A frightened source explained: “There’s a bigger game being played here.” Surely not by the Home Secretary, who suggested on Sunday that it would be “presumptuous”, “disloyal” and “discourteous” to campaign for No 10 before Tony Blair announces his own resignation? Oh.

  Postscript

• Nick Ferrari, interviewing the former Big Brother contestant Jade Goody on LBC, a London radio station yesterday . . .

  Ferrari: What will Tony Blair be remembered for? Goody: For being around as long as he has been because he would have been around, if he stays on, for . . . is it a century? No Jade, but sometimes it just feels like it.

• Colin Dexter, creator of Inspector Morse, had some sage advice at the Crime Writers’ Association Dagger Awards at The Savoy hotel in London. “I didn’t write,” he said. “I just jotted down a few words in between The Archers and going down the pub.”

Hugo Rifkind is away

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