FRED CHRYSTAL can honestly say that he has lived most of his life out of a suitcase. For 34 years he has spent at least three nights each week inspecting hotels, guesthouses, pubs and B&Bs.

Next week he notches up his 5,000th night in a strange room on behalf of the AA. It has not always been a life of luxury.

The grubbiest experience was in the Highlands. At what could best be described as a doss house, he was shown a room with an unmade bed and no window. It reeked of beer and body odour and there was a half pint glass containing what he hopes was beer. It was so appalling that he could not stay the night.

Mr Chrystal said that he told the owners, who had applied for an AA rating: “ ‘This is not on. There are no standards here and I don’t think they are possible.’ They just turned round and said they’d changed their mind and did not want one.” He won’t name the establishment because it still exists — under new management.

His visits are not always to rural or seaside locations. He recalls a miserable night in a city-centre tenement block hotel. Although an inspector’s job is mainly to assess bedrooms, bathrooms, public areas, service and food, and not to take on the role of environmental health officer, on this occasion he asked to see the kitchen. His instinct was right: he walked into a flock of pigeons, starlings and blackbirds.

“It was like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, with all these birds flapping around the kitchen,” he said. “There was not a member of staff in sight. All the windows were open and the birds were even perched on the stockpot that is used to make soup. The manager was next to me — he knew immediately he was losing his AA stars.”

Then there are the items Mr Chrystal has found in bedrooms. “I have seen just about every sex object there is,” he said. “I can assure you, people leave them under the bed or under the mattress. I can’t tell you the number of dirty magazines and Y-fronts I have seen, the condoms, bras and confetti.

“The funniest thing is when you present these items to the manager and he looks astounded because he knows who last occupied the particular room. He knows, too, that what I am really saying is that the rooms are not being properly cleaned.”

Yet standards have improved dramatically through his career. Nylon sheets are banned for all ratings and he rarely has to tiptoe down a corridor to find a lavatory. When he started the job the AA rejected three out of every four establishments; today inspectors help premises to improve their ratings. Food has been transformed. When Mr Chrystal first set out, the standard fare was prawn cocktail, sirloin steak and Black Forest gateau. “I also remember nouvelle cuisine, where you had to use a magnifying glass to see the food,” he said. “It is great that there is now so much interest in healthy eating.”

He is impressed by the way that young people working in hotels and catering try to please. “In almost 80 per cent of visits it really is delightful — service with a smile,” he said. “And then you get a rotten apple. Some people feel they are in a second-rate profession and have a chip on their shoulder. Basil and Sybil Fawlty are also still thriving, especially in family-run businesses, and they are doing a fantastic job.”

Mr Chrystal has never been bribed nor propositioned during his nights away. He likes to keep a low profile so that staff do not guess that he is an inspector. A newspaper is his favourite prop at the restaurant table while keeping a discreet eye on staff. He was embarrassed recently when he forgot that he was at a candlelit table and drew attention to himself by setting his table on fire.

He hopes to give up his peripatetic life at the end of the year — but pity his wife, who is going to have to cope with an inspector permanently in the house.

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