These are not teenagers, however, but their parents.

A report from Parentline Plus is calling for more help to break the isolation and feelings of utter failure experienced by many parents of teenagers.

Dorit Braun, the charity’s chief executive, said that while the teen years had long been regarded as a nightmare for parents, there was now mounting evidence to show that parenting support groups and classes, as well as education and information services for parents, could help.

“We would not deny people pain relief when it is available. Well, parenting support is like pain relief,” she said.

Ms Braun added that while each generation of parents had always thought that their own generation of teenage children was the worst, things were different today.

While in previous generations many teenagers had been expected to work and gain their independence from 14 or 16, nowadays the Government had a target to keep 90 per cent of young people in education until the age of 18.

“Another difference is that parents are increasingly being held to account for the actions of their teenagers,” she said.

The report comes at a crucial time in terms of policy development; the Government is now fleshing out the details of a new duty for local authorities that will require them to make available information that can help parents of older children.

Based on more than 150 e-mails to the charity via its website, the report paints a grim picture of family life with a teenager. Worst affected are the parents of younger teens, aged 13 to 15, who account for 31 per cent of all calls to the charity’s helpline.

Many were bewildered by their children’s sudden mood changes. Some spoke of having to deal with a “stranger” in the house. Others were worried about their children lying and stealing from them.

Binge-drinking, particularly among girls aged 13 to 15, was another big worry for parents, who feared that it might lead their children into dangerous situations and unprotected sex.

Parents, particularly those with boys, said that they were scared about drug use and ill-equipped to talk about it. Many did not understand enough about the risks posed by different substances and were confused about the declassification of cannabis.

Part of the solution to these problems lay in providing support services for parents in a setting where they could share their experiences with others, Ms Braun said.

This in turn would help to overcome the social stigma associated with admitting that a teenage child was causing problems.

The report calls for more family support for parents, starting when their children are aged ten to 12. Services must offer parents factual information, such as the average age of first sex (16) and prevalence of teen drug-taking; the last government survey suggested that 11 per cent of 11 to 15-year-olds had taken an illegal drug in the month before they were questioned.

Services must also be specifically targeted at fathers. Teachers should also be given training in how to work with parents.

David Jockelson, a solicitor from London and a father of two daughters who are now in their early twenties, said that parenting classes were vital in helping his family to get through the teen years.

“My wife and I had been a good friend to them and then suddenly it felt as if we were Public Enemy No 1. We felt like failures.

“Parenting classes gave us the skills we needed to get through it and communicate with our daughters,” he said.

TIPS TO KEEP THE TEENS IN LINE

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